Who am I?

I was not going to share this as a blog, but after reading Nicky’s blog for May, I felt the unction of the Holy Spirit to share this. Thank you Nicky for the opportunity to share the platform with you on Ignite Ministries. My prayer is that those who read this would come to know who they really are in Christ, and that it will create a hunger in you to come to know what the truth is about you, according to the scriptures.

As the world celebrated Mother’s Day, I paused and thought of the people who experience this day as a reminder of pain and heartache …actually let me rephrase that, many people feel pain and heartache on this day. The reasons may vary, but for the pain – that is real. For some Mother’s Day is a reminder of a mum that has rejected them or even physically harmed them. Mother’s Day becomes a reminder of feeling unloved. Others carry the hurt of a mother that has died too soon or a mum in a distant country or city, unable to share the day. There are the mums who feel left out because they are all alone on this day… a child might have passed away or that distance between them is too great to make it possible to share the day. For yet another few, Mother’s Day reminds or condemns them as a mum who failed.  And then there are those who are carrying the hurt and pain of being barren.

As I reflected on these painful reasons for not wanting to celebrate Mother’s Day, I found myself in two of these categories. I felt the pain of a mother that lives in another country, thousands of kilometers from me. All I shared with her on Mother’s Day was a few minutes of telephone conversation. The second category is actually hard to share. I measure myself against how other mums are being treated on Mother’s Day and I feel somewhat left out and convinced that I failed as a mother…and for me my failure is that my children is not fully committed to Jesus yet, even though my prayers still rise for them continuously. I am now being really transparent here, but I know that I am certainly not the only one that feels this way.

The world has created this idea of what a good mum looks like and we tend to try and fill that mold as best we can.

We are forever carrying around labels or titles…yet the titles the world has given you don’t reflect who you are. The world looks at your title or label and that is who you become to the world and we then live accordingly.

When I ask you the question, “WHO ARE YOU?”  what would your answer be?

Are you defined by your job?  I am a Typist, or I am a Teacher, I am an Accountant, I am… (fill in the blank). I hope not. I hope that you are not defined by your job title, because you are way more valuable than a title.

 Are you defined by you marital status?  I am married, I am divorced or I am single…again I hope not, for this is not who you really are.

Are you defined by whether you are a mother or not? Sometimes you can be defined by whether you are a mother or not. Even though I hope this is not entirely what you relate to. If you dissect this further, you might feel like a failure as a mum because your child has chosen the wrong path in life and ended up abusing drugs or even ended up in jail, and now you are carrying the burden or condemnation of being a bad mother. Then there are the women who forever feel like a failure for not being able to conceive a child.

But the good news is that Father God does not define as according to our jobs, our marital status or even whether we are mothers or not. The Word of God defines us as the following: the temple of the living God.   God has said:

“I will live with them.  I will walk among them.
I will be their God.  And they will be my people.”
 So,  “Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord.  Do not touch anything that is not pure and ‘clean.’  Then I will receive you.” And, “I will be your Father.
You will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord who rules over all.”   
            (2 Corinthians 6:16-18)

Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.  (Romans 8:17)

if we endure, we will also reign with him. (2 Timothy 2:12)

Wow, God’s Word defines us as HIS temple. In other words, HE lives inside of us.  God has dwelt in the temple to be close to man and now HE has made us HIS home…Selah. We are also called sons and daughters of the Most High God.  We are co-heirs and we will reign with Jesus, if we can endure the hardships of this world. Selah.

The enemy has used his ability to distract…to distract us from who we are in Jesus Christ.  The ENEMY has used our daily lives to dictate to us who we are to the world…giving us these titles that actually mean nothing. These titles have made us feel worthless or falling short when we are unable to fill or fit the mold that was created by the world, through the rule of the enemy.

It is time that we break out of this mold that was created to box us in and use it as a platform to proclaim who we really are.

If we stand up for who we really are, we may be called arrogant. But we know that it is not arrogance, it is confidence…not confidence in ourselves, but confidence in our FATHER Who created us. We are not meant to wither away, or to fit into the world’s mold, but to stand up and proclaim who and Who’s we are. Don’t be afraid to step out of the mold! With the help of His Word and by the power of the Holy Spirit, Father God will strengthen you with knowledge and a revelation of who you really are.

The enemy wants us to feel worthless, but I want to tell you today, that you are Worthy Women and Men of Bravery. Getting up and stepping out of the mold, for the sake of our KING Jesus, is not easy, but it is so worth it.

The enemy has distracted us in so many ways…he has lied to us and is making us feel guilty when we do stand up and step onto the platform and when we won’t allow the world to define us. The enemy tries to get us to conform but God’s Word clearly says in Romans 12:2 (NIV) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The world celebrated Mothers, but I want to take the chance to praise woman.  I want to take a moment and praise God fearing woman, whether you have children or not. Charm and grace are deceptive, and [superficial] beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord [reverently worshiping, obeying, serving, and trusting Him with awe-filled respect], she shall be praised.  (Proverbs 31:30)

Being a mum is a very important, so don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that being a mom is nothing, or that it is unimportant.  No, what I am saying is that being a mum should never define who you really are.  The struggles of being a mum should not overshadow the importance of who you are first and foremost…YOU ARE A DAUGHTER OF THE MOST HIGH GOD. Don’t let the world dictate to you who you are. Listen to who God says you are…

Even though I mainly focused on women this month, men can also drown in the day to day tasks and become who the world tells them to be; main provider for finances, the dad, the handyman and the husband.  Today, I want to remind you that you are more than that, YOU ARE A SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD.  Keep your focus on HIM and you will find strength, courage and joy to accomplish your day to day tasks.





My older son and his new wife of six months arrived in Perth, just in time to celebrate Mother’s Day with me.  For the first time in five years I had both my sons with me, with two beautiful girls to boot.  You would think that I was over the moon at the prospect, but sadly, as the product of a broken home, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day have always been days I dread.  For years I would avoid church, as the celebrations would be too much to bear.  I discouraged my family from going to trouble to celebrate me and I would try as best I could to have “just another day”.  In later years, with social media becoming the way to communicate, I would try to be offline as much as possible.  Again, the photos of happy families enjoying each other’s company would be the source of great pain, reminding me of what was not.

Driving home from a lovely afternoon spent with the girls at a mother-and-daughter high tea in honor of Mother’s Day, the topic came up and the newest member of the family offered a bit of wisdom…”Nicky, instead of thinking of what you didn’t have, why not focus on what you do have? We’re here and tomorrow we will celebrate you.” Duh!  It seems so simple, and it is.  Shift your focus. Change your perspective.

Meditating on this, two portions of scripture came to mind.  I was reminded of the story of the Israelites crossing the Jordan, in Joshua 3.  God does this incredible miracle, piling up the flooding river Jordan, allowing a nation to pass through on dry ground.

The book of Joshua, chapter 4 continues with a directive from the Lord: When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the Lord said to Joshua, “Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests are standing, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight.” (v1-3, NIV)

Joshua gives the command and goes on to explain…to serve as a sign among you.  In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord.  When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off.  These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.(v6-7, NIV)

I want to juxtapose a story from Mark 5 (v1-5) with Joshua 4. They arrived on the other side of the sea in the country of the Gerasenes.  As Jesus got out of the boat, a madman from the cemetery came up to him.  He lived among the tombs and graves.  No one could restrain him – he couldn’t be chained, couldn’t be tied down.  He had been tied up many times with chains and ropes, but he broke the chains, snapped the ropes.  No one was strong enough to tame him.  Night and day he roamed through the graves and the hills, screaming out and slashing himself with sharp stones. (MSG)

These two stories seems unrelated, but bear with me for a moment.  Being honest, we have to admit that we resemble the madman in many regards…I am sure I am not the only one.  We make a home among the tombs and the graves, our minds wonder to the dead, dying and decaying parts of our lives, and no matter how we try, we cannot seem to reign our thoughts in.  No chain or rope can harness the meditations that keep us up during the night, tormenting our souls and draining our bodies.

How often do we slash at our own souls, as with sharp stones?  We live with regret, we bash ourselves and we weigh and measure, always to come up short.  We nurse wounds and we set up headstones in every wounded place, where we go to rehearse the past, where we mourn and weep and gnash our teeth.  True story!

Carry on reading Mark 5 and we see that it turns out well for the poor mad man from Gerasenes…not so much for the herd of pigs.  Jesus turns up and does what He was sent to do.  He sets the captive free.  He restores the man, He heals him and the man is found “clothed and making sense, no longer a walking madhouse of a man”. (V15, MSG)

Now I want to tie the two portions of scripture together for you.  In verse 18-20 we read how the madman’s story ends.  As Jesus was getting into the boat, the demon-delivered man begged to go along, but he wouldn’t let him.  Jesus said: “Go home to your own people.  Tell them your story-what the Master did, how he had mercy on you.”  The man went back and began to preach in the Ten Towns area about what Jesus had done for him.  He was the talk of the town.

The man did as Jesus commanded – he went home and started to build another memorial…not with stones from the river as the Israelites did…but with his words.  He told his story, just as the memorial stones told a story.  This is what we are called to do.  We are to come to Jesus and we are to look to Him to heal us and set us free.  Then we tell our stories of what He did, of how the Lord had mercy on us, instead of begging Jesus to take us away with Him.

So I will tell you the story of my Mother’s Day.  With an open heart I accepted the love and kindness from my husband and my children, I ate the cake made especially for me, without counting the calories or fretting about the sugar content.  I had the second piece of my favorite chocolate, snuck in by my husband, while playing cards with my loud sons, remembering them as boys.  I received the gift of being served by my family, watching my tribe prepare lunch for me.  I just received.  Instead of missing those who were not present, I enjoyed the ones who were.  I saw how my sons loved on their wives and recognized that we did well, raising them.

I had many proud “mumma bear” moments throughout the day, but none such as the overwhelming gratitude of what the Lord had done, when I stood in church, the presence of the Holy Spirit tangible and near, my husband by my side and both my sons, with their wives, worshiping God together.  I felt Jesus’s healing touch on my very wounded heart, I received forgiveness and the grace to also forgive.  I recognized that my end will be better than my beginning and that the Lord had indeed shown mercy to me – in more ways that I can count.  I have an inheritance in my children, so I am humbled and I give thanks.

O give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; for His mercy endures forever.                                                                        Psalm 107:1