Daily we are bombarded with messages telling us we are not enough. The media, social media, even the members of our own household send the same message…you are not enough. Everyone has become a critic, an armchair expert. We measure and we weigh, we are measured and we are weighed and the conclusion is usually the same…too light, Just. Not. Enough.
Husbands and wives, parents and children, employer and employee, we have all become consumers, feeling justified in our expectations of having our needs met by the people in our world. Women tell themselves that the right husband will meet their needs in every way – they will be loved, cherished, honored, valued and made to feel like a princess. They marry Prince Charming, only to be disillusioned when they realize he does not measure up, he too, is broken and flawed…he’s not enough.
Men believe the right woman will solve all his problems and he works hard to find just the right one for him, testing and discarding many “samples” in the process. The perfect one will look like a film queen, perform like a porn star, care like a nurse and cook like his mother, he tells himself. Once the novelty wears off and reality sets in, the disappointment becomes apparent and the message to her is exactly the same….you just don’t make the grade, you are not enough. And so the desperate search to find the perfect one, the one who will meet every unmet need, is back on. Behind us is a wide trail of heartache, pain, disappointment, disillusionment, paved with crushed hopes and dreams.
This pernicious and nefarious mindset has also firmly established itself in the life of the church. “If the worship team only…”, “if the pastor could just…”, “if the children’s church was more…” – you fill in the blanks. Christians migrate from church, to church, to church, always sampling the wares, always reaching the same conclusion….good, but Just. Not. Enough.
So we strive harder, we lie better and we pretend more, because we don’t want to fall short, we want to measure up. We will do whatever it takes just to be enough. We swallow the lie of the enemy hook, line, sinker and even the whole fishing rod. We believe that if we can just be enough for him/her/them, we would be loved, accepted, valued, wanted. If I’m enough, then they will be enough.
I have been on this merry-go-round far too long, forever comparing, forever striving, never feeling that I measured up to expectation. I worked harder, faster, longer, forever hoping to reach the bar, ignoring the fact that the bar was forever rising, always just out of reach. I heard that condemning voice from every direction and I fought with all my might to prove it wrong. Not anymore. I am in full agreement with it now…I am not enough. The truth is that I am not enough and the truth has indeed set me free.
It is right and proper that I am not enough, not as wife, as parent, as friend, as daughter, as sister and definitely not as Christian. The burden I carried for so long is lifting as this truth settles itself deep in my spirit. If I was enough for my husband, I would be his idol. If I was enough for my sons, they would never had to search for a perfect Father. Me being enough would make Father, Son and Holy Spirit redundant….there would be no need for a Savior, I would be out, rescuing the world. So would you. But we’re not enough, so we look to the One who is.
How absolutely liberating to be able to say to someone: “I don’t have what you need, I am not enough for you, my wisdom is lacking and my comfort is feeble, but…my God will liberally supply (fill until full) your every need according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Phil. 4:19 AMP)
It’s only when we make peace with our own incompetence that we can relax, breath and allow God to be God. “Yet we don’t see ourselves as capable enough to do anything in our own strength, for our true competence flows from God’s empowering presence” 2 Cor. 3:5 TPT
How I pray that every time the enemy tries to clobber us with this, we would, like Paul did, hear the Lord say “My grace is always more than enough for you, and my power finds it’s full expression through your weakness”. ( 2 Cor. 12:9aTPT). May we all reach a point where we are comfortable with confessing that we are not enough, and see the revelation of our incompetence as the greatest blessing Father bestowed on us. We are not enough and we don’t have to be. The only burden on us is to point those who are in need to the One who is more than enough, more than willing and more than able to do what we can never do. So, dear heart, celebrate! You are not enough and it’s wonderful!