Search my heart

There is no spot of ground, however arid, bare or ugly, that cannot be tamed into such a state as may give an impression of beauty and delight.                                          Gertrude Jekyll

You know how sometimes you hear one line of a song, or you see a word printed somewhere, or a person makes a simple comment and suddenly the Lord not only highlights it, but He expands on it to the point where you are meditating on that thing for weeks?

 Well, recently I had just such an experience.  Fred and I were cleaning up a very unloved garden.  I was on my knees, doing battle with grass that had grown into the flowerbed, spreading nefarious roots everywhere.  It was a hot Perth day and made for hard, sweaty work.  Fred made a causal comment.  “No wonder it’s such hard work…they just kept putting bark over the top”, he said.  Now for those of you who do not garden, I will explain.  Bark is typically put in garden beds to keep weeds down and moisture in.  The problem is that often grass will creep underneath, going far before a tiny little shoot would be visible above ground.  By the time the blades appear, the root system has been well established underground.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lawn as much as everyone else.  A well-manicured, lush, green patch of grass is the most inviting place to hang out but when those suckers get into the flowerbeds, they no longer do what they are supposed to do.  Instead of being a soft, cool place to take refuge on a hot day, it becomes a nightmare that chokes the roots of everything else.

References to gardens are spread throughout the bible.  One of the first things we learn about God is that He established a beautiful, fruitful garden where He walked with man.  That’s where the fall happened…that same garden and it’s from where the curse came.  From that moment on, the garden and man would be in constant battle with each other.  One would sweat to tame the garden, while the garden would fight back by producing weeds and thorns amongst the crops.

Our lives can be likened to gardens.  Some are oases, places of refuge or bearing much fruit.   Some are barren and some produces thorns and thistles, but none escape the searching eye of Holy Spirit.  From John 15, verse 2 we see that the Lord not only cuts off branches that bear no fruit, but He also prunes the fruit baring ones so that they will bear more fruit.

Let’s go back to the flower beds full of grass.  As I was working and pondering the situation Holy spirit started to speak to me about the things that invade our “flower beds” causing beauty to be choked.  Some of the roots came from next door.  It crept under the fence, and undetected, kept on creeping underground, unseen.  It spoke to me of those generational curses and familiar spirits that goes from generation to generation…undetected and unseen but causing much damage.  It keeps spreading until it runs into someone who is prepared to do the hard work of digging deep to uproot every kind of evil.

Some of the roots came from the adjacent lawn and it reminded me of the things that invade our space from the world we live in.  This invasion could have been prevented by placing a barrier between the lawn and the flower bed but the lack of edging made it easy for the lawn to keep going.  For us, it means that getting too complacent, living without boundaries and not being mindful of the world’s ever-present influence, can cause the cares and filth of the world to invade our souls to the point where the light in us gets strangled.  Much of what ails us has been growing unseen and unchecked for far too long.  Much of the body has become so infiltrated by the world and its systems that the church barely resembles the Bride Jesus died for.

But all is not lostFor I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). Jesus is still in the business of saving us and Holy Spirit is our helper.  He searches the deepest recesses of our hearts; He knows our beginning and He knows our end.  Our job is to submit ourselves under God’s hand, to surrender every part of us to His scrutiny and to yield to the voice of Holy Spirit.

King David wrote the most beautiful psalm in Psalm 139, where he invites the Lord to search him and know him and to weed out everything that does not please Him.  Read it prayerfully, as an invitation to the Lord to do the same for you…

You Know All About Me

139 For the Pure and Shining One
King David’s poetic song


Lord, you know everything there is to know about me.
You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,
and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.
3–4 You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.
You read my heart like an open book
and you know all the words I’m about to speak
before I even start a sentence!
You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.
You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness you follow behind me
to spare me from the harm of my past.
With your hand of love upon my life,
you impart a blessing to me.
This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!
Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.
Where could I go from your Spirit?
Where could I run and hide from your face?
If I go up to heaven, you’re there!
If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too!
If I fly with wings into the shining dawn, you’re there!
If I fly into the radiant sunset, you’re there waiting!
10 Wherever I go, your hand will guide me;
your strength will empower me.
11 It’s impossible to disappear from you
or to ask the darkness to hide me,
for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.
12 There is no such thing as darkness with you.
The night, to you, is as bright as the day;
there’s no difference between the two.
13 You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside
and my intricate outside,
and wove them all together in my mother’s womb.[d]
14 I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!
Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking.
It simply amazes me to think about it!
How thoroughly you know me, Lord!
15 You even formed every bone in my body
when you created me in the secret place,
carefully, skilfully shaping me from nothing to something.
16 You saw who you created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days you planned for me
were already recorded in your book.
17–18 Every single moment you are thinking of me!
How precious and wonderful to consider
that you cherish me constantly in your every thought!
O God, your desires toward me are more
than the grains of sand on every shore!
When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.
19 O God, come and slay these bloodthirsty, murderous men!
For I cry out, “Depart from me, you wicked ones!”
20 See how they blaspheme your sacred name
and lift up themselves against you, but all in vain!
21 Lord, can’t you see how I despise those who despise you?
For I grieve when I see them rise up against you.
22 I have nothing but complete hatred and disgust for them.
Your enemies shall be my enemies!
23 God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart.
Examine me through and through;
find out everything that may be hidden within me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.
24 See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,
and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways—
the path that brings me back to you.