Honour everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the emperor.                                                                                    1 Peter 2:17 

I read the email.  Then I read it again.  I read it one more time, edited the wording as I went.  In my mind I ran through a number of scenarios…what would happen after I click send?  Somehow, in my spirit I sensed that for me, a line had been drawn in the sand.

Then I heard the Spirit of the Lord whisper to me.  “When are you going to stop fearing man?”

Let me pause here and share some things about myself.  I live a (somewhat) brave life. If you asked people who only know me superficially, they would probably tell you that I am exceptionally brave…or exceptionally stupid.  I get on planes and fly to unknown places, I lives in strangers’ homes, I eat whatever is put in front of me without asking too many questions

Some people would call me brave for speaking the truth, applauding the fact that I will call sin by its name and expose the works of the enemy.  Others might call me loveless, possibly arrogant, even religious, as we do with those brave souls who march to a different tune, but they will not call me “coward”.  I have been told that I am intimidating, because I so fearlessly confess my weakness, because I strive to live an altogether transparent life.  I am brave enough to expose myself, hoping that someone’s life would be better for knowing of my own struggles and pain, that my openness would give them courage to expose their own broken places so that Jesus can minister to them.

And yet, Holy Spirit goes right to the heart of the matter, as He always does.  I was, in some ways, still in fear of man.  Not only that, but I was in denial also.  I had convinced myself that my fear of man, my reluctance to make waves, to boldly stand for righteousness in certain situations is because I honour people.  I have given myself permission to let some things slide because I have convinced myself that “love covers”.  Don’t get me wrong, Love does cover a person’s dignity, yet Love exposes corruption in order to bring healing.  In order to cleanse the temple, the Author of Love overturned tables and whipped the moneychangers.  Jesus was more concerned with fearing God, than preserving His own reputation.  Oh, that I might be like Him!

As I meditated upon these things the Lord reminded me of a scripture.

2 Corinthians 2: 14 – 16 reads like this:

 In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade. Through us, He brings knowledge of Christ. Everywhere we go, people breathe in the exquisite fragrance. Because of Christ, we give off a sweet scent rising to God, which is recognized by those on the way of salvation—an aroma redolent with life. But those on the way to destruction treat us more like the stench from a rotting corpse. (Message)

This right here, is the reality of our predicament.  Not everybody will applaud us, not everybody will understand us.  To those of the same spirit, we will be fragrant and beautiful, to those with a different spirit, we will stink to high heaven.  I know that this is the line that was drawn in the sand for me – am I ready to cross that line, give up on the notion that everyone will understand, love and appreciate me and live my life for an audience of One?  Am I ready to really believe that the Lord will lead me in “a victory parade” everywhere I go?

We are, as the body of Christ, called to honour people, if for no other reason, because they were created in the image of God.  We are to love our neighbours, be the servant of all, be the least if we want to be great and we are to respect the laws of the land – but our fear – that is reserved for God, and God alone.

2 Timothy 1:7 drives this truth home.  “For God will never give you the spirit of cowardly fear, but the Holy Spirit who gives you mighty power, love and sound judgment.” TPT

So here we are, confronted with the fact that at times (if you are anything like me), we moderate what we say, how we act and when we make a stand for righteousness because we want to avoid the reaction we expect to receive.  What a predicament!  We have been called to be salt and light and I have to confess, sometimes I don’t like the consequence that comes from being salt.   What are we to do?

I will allow someone way smarter than me to answer that question. I’ll take you back to 2 Corinthians 2 and let the Apostle Paul have his say:

^16-17 This is a terrific responsibility. Is anyone competent to take it on? No—but at least we don’t take God’s Word, water it down, and then take it to the streets to sell it cheap. We stand in Christ’s presence when we speak; God looks us in the face. We get what we say straight from God and say it as honestly as we can.

I am tempted to add “so help us, God”, because I know I need some help with this.  As for that email, I did click send, unafraid.

There are some scriptures that roll off our tongues so smoothly, so confidently but when the rubber meets the road, they are jarring, difficult and like the scroll that Ezekiel ate, sweet in the mouth but sour in the stomach.

One such scripture is Romans 5: 3 – 5 which confidently declares “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”

I have just returned from a mission trip where disappointment and discouragement was the flavour of the day, where the enemy has done a work of destruction during our absence and many of the young people who appeared to be on fire and sold out for Jesus disappeared altogether.  We found, instead of the vibrant church we left behind, a compromised church where Kingdom culture was not prevailing.  It seemed that everything we taught fell on deaf ears and we even came to a point where each of us (missionaries) questioned whether we were actually called to the mission field, whether we were even having any influence or making any impact.

Personally, I was wondering what I was doing there in the first place.  Was I really called?  Did I have to be there? Am I even in God’s will for my life, and if I was, why was it so HARD?  I am convinced that these questions are never far from any Christian’s mind.  It has been insinuated to me that if it is (hard), then surely I cannot be in the Lord’s will and that just maybe I was not supposed to be serving this way.  In fact, if God really sent me, then He would protect me, wouldn’t He?  I would not have to cope with insect bites, tummy bugs, exhausting heat and humidity, disappointments…it would be easy – the Lord’s yoke is easy and His burden is light, after all.  Like my friend put it so eloquently when we talked about this around the breakfast table – “that would really mess with your head”.  No kidding!

Yet, reading the Word, it’s hard to find examples of people who said “Yes” to the Lord and never suffered and never felt the sting of disappointment – often in themselves and their own humanity.  Disappointment and suffering is the fibre that weaves together a tapestry of perseverance and what keeps us going, is Hope that whispers in our ear “try one more time”.  So we get up and we dust ourselves off and we give it another shot.  Our Christian walk would not be so hard if we didn’t expect it to be so easy.  What causes me great joy in the midst of all this, is when I can look back at that which could have killed my spirit, my hope and my call and I see how I have come through by the grace of God and realise that He who is in me is indeed greater than He who is in the world.  That is when my faith comes alive…on the other side of the valley of the shadow of death.

I read Luke 5 this morning and I found another example of an event that must have caused great disappointment.  Simon (Peter) and his friends were fishing all night long, with nothing to show for their trouble.  Hope comes and says “try again”.  In verse 5, ‘Simon (Peter) answered, Master, we toiled all night (exhaustingly) and caught nothing (in our nets).  But on the ground of Your word, I will lower the nets (again). AMP

I know this feeling well, as I am sure you do too.  We have worked so hard, we have served; forgiven; hoped for a promise to be kept; prayed for a lost one; held our breath, waiting for a relationship to be restored; cried over a loss; been spitefully used; mourned the loss of a friendship and more…and none of this made us feel particularly blessed and if you are anything like me, I don’t often see (from my own point of view and out of my nasty habit of navel-gazing) evidence of a godly character being formed, yet the Word assures me that it is.

But on the ground of His word, we keep going, for hope is alive in us:

⁶ And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish; and as their nets were [at the point of] breaking, ⁷ They signalled to their partners in the other boat to come and take hold with them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink.  Luke 5: 6, 7 AMP

We keep going because the harvest is ready and the Lord of the harvest is calling the workers to get over their own disappointments, offenses and issues and get about the Father’s business, remembering always that in our weakness He is strong.  So, am I going back?  You bet

Like every other person I know, there are bits of myself that I don’t like too much.  I can do with a few less calories every day, a smaller dress size, all the regular “girls stuff” that we ladies torture ourselves with.  But…truth be told, my love handles are not the biggest issue for me.  What has plagued me more than anything else, what had caused me more sleepless nights than calorie counting, is that I am feisty.  There, I have admitted it publicly.  I just love a good fight.  Not that it would come as a surprise to anyone who has spent more than a couple of days with me.

I have prayed, even begged the Lord to make me meek – by myself I’ve not had much success.  If it’s true that the meek shall inherit the earth, I’m getting squat.  I have tried really, really hard to contain myself, to bite my tongue, to be girly, gentle and mild-mannered.  It has been of no use, I still cannot back down from a fight.

Every time I hear a message about God’s plan for our lives, how He made us to be exactly as we are, I wonder if just maybe, He went on vacation when my personality was dished out and let archangel Michael do the honors.  How can I, being such a fighter, be at all useful to the Lord?  I’ve probably done more damage to Jesus’ reputation by being so hotheaded, than I have helped to extend the kingdom.

But that was before Zechariah 10:3b “ For the LORD of Heaven’s Armies has arrived to look after Judah, his flock. He will make them strong and glorious, like a proud warhorse in battle”. This is now officially my new favorite verse.

In the book of Job, the Lord speaks to Job and asks him many questions.  He asks Job ^“Are you the one who gave the horse his prowess and adorned him with a shimmering mane? Did you create him to prance proudly and strike terror with his royal snorts? He paws the ground fiercely, eager and spirited, then charges into the fray. He laughs at danger, fearless, doesn’t shy away from the sword. The banging and clanging of quiver and lance don’t faze him. He quivers with excitement, and at the trumpet blast races off at a gallop. At the sound of the trumpet he neighs mightily, smelling the excitement of battle from a long way off, catching the rolling thunder of the war cries. Job 39:19-25 MSG  All this talk of battle really excites me.  Weird for a girl, I know, but great for the season we are in.  God knew exactly what He was doing after all.

I’ve done some reading up about the warhorse and what I found had been a revelation.  You see, warhorses were identified from young, trained by master trainers, highly valued and invaluable in battle.  Warhorses were classified in different weights, used for different purposes.  Lighter horses were prized for their agility, speed and endurance, ridden over long distances, taking the generals right to the battle front.  The heavier horses were saved for the full-on assault of the enemy.  They were able to carry the weight of their own armour, the rider with his full armour, as well as an array of weapons.  The strongest, heaviest horses we used to pull supplies to the battlefield, working in pairs, united in their duty, as much part of the cavalry as the battle horses.  Warhorses, no matter what their role, had a few things in common.  They were trained to run toward the battle, not away from the fighting, to overcome their natural instinct to flee from noise, the confusion of combat and the smell of blood.

Warhorses learned to react to every sudden, even slight movement of the rider, to avoid weapons and to become one itself, as it kicked, bit and struck at the enemy in close combat.  The horse was trained to be obedient and maneuverable, controlled with limited use of the reigns, responding to the rider’s legs and weight on its back.  The warhorse was spirited, but fully submitted to its rider, trusting the guidance of the rider, fully confident in its own strength in battle.

As darkness closes in around us, as the battle is heating up, now is the time for the warhorses to be revealed.  The battle cry is rising all over the earth and it is time for the warhorses to charge, fearless, well-trained, equipped with full armour and ridden by the General Himself.  I am sure I am not the only one ready for a fight – we have to be.  There are lost, broken and hurting people out there, counting on us to battle for them, over them, until our Rider is revealed, victorious and glorious.  Like me, you have been trained, carefully and diligently, by the Holy Spirit, you have been equipped and now it’s time to engage, to do what we were born and called to do – engage, push forward, gain ground, invade the enemy’s territory and win the battles as they present themselves.

Let me finish with Revelation 19:11 – 16  ^“I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose rider is called Faithful and True. With justice He judges and wages war.  His eyes are like blazing fire, and on His head are many crowns. He has a name written on him that no one knows but He himself.  He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God.  The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. “He will rule them with an iron scepter.” He treads the winepress of the fury of the wrath of God Almighty.  On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: king of kings and lord of lords.

Yesterday, at 5.30 am, my husband spoke the dreaded words…”are you getting up?” Sounds innocent enough, doesn’t it? Don’t be fooled! What he meant was “are you going to open both eyes, drag yourself out of bed, get dressed and stumble into the gym or you are going to lie there and listen to me exercise while Guilt eats away at the flab around your waist that you should be burning off on the treadmill?” He is a concise man, I will give him that and I was tempted to see how much fat Guilt could consume, but I go up.
Huffing and puffing on the treadmill, I glanced over to him, sitting on the stationary bike…he didn’t seem all that fresh either and I struggled not to gloat. “Struggling?” I asked. “A little”, came the answer. It was right then that something so profound came out of my mouth that I thought “I’d better write this down, ‘cause it’s GOOD!” I said to him “the only reason I’m still running is because I haven’t given myself permission to stop”.

I’ve been thinking about that statement ever since…contemplating how often we give ourselves permission to do something we shouldn’t do, or permission to omit doing that which we should. How many marriages and families would still be intact if partners did not give themselves permission to do whatever it was they did, how many more children would be alive if society didn’t give itself permission to kill their babies, how much poorer pharmaceutical companies would be if we didn’t give ourselves permission to drug ourselves into oblivion to medicate pain that Jesus is more than able to heal?
I wonder how many wounds would have been spared the people around us if we stopped to ask ourselves why we have given ourselves permission to be unkind, cruel, derogatory and unloving. Who gave us permission to back-stab and gossip, to be selfish, uncaring or wallowing in self-pity? Surely not our Father, or our Savior or Holy Spirit living inside us.
I am reminded of David, who having returned from a raid, found himself raided, Ziglag burned down and plundered and all the women and children abducted. His men, greatly distressed, wanted to stone him and he could have easily given himself permission to quit, to wail, to given in to self-pity, but he didn’t. David “encouraged and strengthened himself in the Lord, his God” (1 Sam. 30:8)

I like David, probably because I relate to the way he often talked to himself. I too, I have a constant dialogue running through my mind. As much as I love people, I am very happy to talk to myself and I learn from David how to do it well, instead of the toxic way I used to speak to myself before. In Psalm 45:5 we are privy to a conversation his spirit man is having with his soul. He says to himself “Why are you cast down, o my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, my Help and my God.” (AMP)
What a wonderful example for us to follow! There are times where our inner man just runs away with us and that is when we need for our spirit man to rise up and say to our soul…”Do not pass go! You do not have permission to go there, you do not have permission to give up, you do not have permission to behave like that!” If our spirit man does not rise up and take dominion, our soul and our flesh will take dominion and that is never pretty.

Is this even possible, I ask myself? Do you have to be David, God’s anointed king, to be able to master this discipline? No, I don’t believe so. “What do you know?” I hear you ask. Not a lot, in the greater scheme of things, but this much I do know: I can do all things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me! (Phil.4.13)

Will you pray with me?
Lord Jesus, my spirit man was made new the moment I accepted You as my Lord and Savior. Your Spirit lives in me, but I confess that there are times when my soul and my flesh fails me, when I give myself permission to take my eyes off You and focus them on the situation around me, when I give in to temptation, frustration and fear and I allow my mouth to run away with me. Will You please strengthen my spirit man today, so that I am able to live like David lived – conscious of my inner man and its influence over me. This morning I declare that You have not given me a spirit to fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. Amen!

Sunday morning, during worship, I heard Holy Spirit speak to my heart, reminding me that the battle belongs to the Lord…that so many Christians are worn out and discouraged from fighting battles in their own strength, fighting battles they are not meant to fight.  I am worn out and frustrated from fighting battles that I am not supposed to fight.  Why are we doing this?  Because we have yet to submit certain things to the Lord.  Our stubborn, prideful hearts lead us to believe we can do things on our own. We give it our best shot and often when we realise how big the opposition is that we face, be turn about-face and run.

We often forget just Who our God is. In Exodus, chapter 15, verse 3 we are introduced to God by Moses, singing His praises.  He says “The Lord is a warrior; the Lord is His name.” (NIV)  The ESV reads “The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is His name!”.  God has not changed.  He did not suddenly become impotent and meek – He still is a man of war, our Warrior King.

I saw heaven standing open and there before me was a white horse, whose Rider is called Faithful and True. With justice He judges and wages war. Revelation 19:11

If then our God is a Warrior, it is only fair to assume that He would have left His people instructions on how to fight a battle.  In Deuteronomy 20 we find such a set of instructions…

When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the Lord your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. ² When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. ³ He shall say: “Hear, Israel: Today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not panic or be terrified by them. (Deut. 20: 1 – 3)

We have to discipline ourselves and fight our fear.  We also, still have not just a priest, but a High Priest, who speaks to us by His spirit, reminding us not to be afraid.  We need to heed His voice when He says “do not be afraid, I will never leave you, not forsake you.”  We have to submit ourselves to the Word of God, not to our emotions and put our trust in His character, not in the size of the opposition we face.

How do we find the courage to get out of bed every morning, when we know there’s opposition from the spirit of this world every time we step out our front door?  We remind ourselves often “ For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”  (Deut. 20: 4)

Many words have been spoken over us for 2015 – open doors and windows, increase and expansion waiting for us.  Yet, we will face a great battle on the inside when what we see in the natural does not line up with what has been spoken over us, when the way we expect the Lord to move on our behalf does not line up with the way He actually goes about it.  I have come to the conclusion that promotion in the spirit often seems like demotion in the natural.  Before you see the increase, there’s a stretching, a period of “cleaning house” to make room for the more and the greater of God.

The cleaning process might mean having to deal with issues of the heart we’d rather not deal to, it might mean letting go of some friendships or relationships that are not pleasing the Lord or even making a stand for righteousness where we have never made a stand before.  Whatever our individual battles look like, it will seem overwhelming at times, that much is guaranteed.

Therefore, if we are going to make on new year’s resolution, let it be this declaration: I will not be fainthearted or afraid; I will not panic or be terrified by them(it), for the Lord my God is the One who goes with me to fight for me against my enemies to give me victory.” 

Last night my husband and I went to donate blood for the last time this year.  I was reminded that during this season we assosiate with bells and whistles, brimming fridges, full houses, parties and excess there will be people who suffer.  Christmas is not only the season of gifts and glitter, but for many also the season where loneliness, hopelessness and despair is more pronounced.  Suicide rates go up, so does domestic violence, abuse and trauma.

Yesterday, with the rest of Australia and probably most of the world, I watched a family and a community bury a much loved son.  I found the sight of a father carrying his son’s coffin on his shoulder profoundly disturbing.  It seemed so WRONG.  And while the world mourned one son, many unknown families all over the world are bury their sons and daughters, mothers and fathers.  Many will face Christmas alone, without loved ones for the first time.  So many wives and children are already bracing themselves for the days ahead, when dads are home, with time on their hands and bottles to empty.   Many will give up hope…

So many people do not know that “For us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6) They look to Santa and his bag for some happiness and to a bottle for some peace, but soon those brand new toys will loose it shine.

Now before I begin to sound too morbid, I do have a Christmas “wishlist”, which I will submit in prayer to the One who can actually make all my dreams come true.

This Christmas I hope for the gift of contentment…that no matter where I find myself, I would enjoy the here and now.  I want the gift of peace, which only comes with more of Jesus in my life.  I want a double dose of the gift of faith – next year is going to be BIG and I will need all the help I can get. I hope there will be a new set of glasses, so I can see as my Lord sees…past the flaws and the shortcomings, to the broken heart inside.

I would love a greater measure of the Spirit, so that I can carry more of His light, power and glory into the darkness around me.  I ask for the gift of time…I know my days have been numbered before I was born and there are so many people who yet need to see Jesus in me.

As I wrap this up for 2014, I would like to wish you a very blessed and happy Christmas, filled with the wonder of Him.  May you too find the same gifts that I want, overflowing for you.  May you receive His heart, His eyes, His ears and the determination to be His hands and feet during this season.  May you see the lonely, the lost, the broken and may you be their best Christmas present this year.

I find myself in a season of revision where I felt directed by the Holy Spirit to re-read some books I read in previous seasons, to bring before the Healer some wounds that tore open during the strain of seeking breakthrough to the more of God and to cement some truths I discovered in seasons past.

Holy Spirit has been reminding me of prophetic words spoken over my life that I still have to contend for; of victories I have won and of breakthroughs successfully negotiated.  During this time of seeking the Lord and waiting patiently upon Him I have a very strong impression that many of God’s children already know what they are called to do…now we have to wait on Him to tell us  how to go about the tasks at hand.  We need divine strategy to negotiate the next season well and the only way we will find what we are looking for is as we spend time in His presence.  We can no longer rely on our old, tried and trusted strategies.  If we want the “greater” and the “more”, we are going to need to change tactics.

As I am meditating upon these insights and thoughts I am reminded of my own school days and I see a spiritual truth emerge as I look on the process of progression through my school years.  I know the process in schools look a little different these days and that I am seriously giving my age away.

Being born again is like going to school for the very first time.  The environment is strange, the people are strange, everything is new and exciting and you learn so much, so quickly.  You progress and before you know it enough progress have been made for you to be in a grade where you are required to pass exams or tests.

Again a process has to take place.  You arrive with some knowledge, yet you find yourself somewhere you have never been before.  A new teacher is presenting new, more challenging material for you to absorb. You arrive, still on a high from being successful the year before, only to discover very quickly that you know less than you thought you knew.  So you allow yourself to be taken down a peg, you learn, time passes and then it’s there – exam time rolls around.

Before any exam every good teacher will lead students into a time of revision where you cover everything from the beginning, making sure you have your facts straight.  Then the dreaded exam, an emotionally charged, exhausting and draining time at best.  After the exam you are graded and again a good teacher will not only reveal the results, but will walk students through the paper itself.  There is as much learning taking place then as there was before the exam took place in the first place.  Students are shown the correct answer to each question and are helped to discover where they went wrong in their thinking.  If you made the grade – promotion to the next grade, if not, revision and a second exam for you!  Only if students still did not apply themselves again where they required to re-do the whole year.

Right now I am at the “Teacher is revising the exam paper with me” phase.  This is where I have the opportunity to revisit some of the truths and concepts I learned in the previous seasons and where I make some adjustments in order to negotiate the next season successfully.  It is important for each one of us to identify where we are in this process and to yield to the Teacher as it is appropriate.

Many people have had new seasons prophesied over them, some are already on the brink of this new season and some are steadily making progress towards it. They have passed some major tests and are ready for promotion. The question is how do we negotiate the new season?

The first and most important thing is that we have not been here before.  Yes, we arrive with much knowledge and experience, but we have much to learn.  We need to humble ourselves, recognise that we have much to learn and submit ourselves to the teachers and leaders appointed by the Lord to take us into this season.  There are apostles, prophets and teachers the Lord has prepared for us – our job is to recognise them with the help of Holy Spirit and to learn from them.

It takes much humility and trust to learn from other people.  Pride says “the Holy Spirit can teach me”, forgetting that God has always chosen people to speak for Him.  Even the Word of God, our Holy Bible was scribed by people working under inspiration of Holy Spirit.  God is the same today – He still use people to speak through and our job is to recognise His voice, regardless of the vessel He chooses to use.

Why trust?  Because Insecurity says “I am a teacher myself, I am called to teach so I do not need to learn from other people” or “I am called to minister, not to sit at someone else’s feet”.  Sadly, before you can be a great teacher you have to be a great student.  We have much to distrust.  We have been hurt, we’ve been let down, disappointed and abused in some cases, yet we place our trust in the Lord, not in man and believe Him when He says He plans for us a great future.

We have another choice though.  We can stay where we are and become an expert on that level – even teach many great truths right there –  but we will forever see people arrive, learn from us, make the grade and go on to surpass us to the “greater” and the “more”.  Fear and pride will keep us stuck and self-delusion will tell us that it’s the Lord’s will for us.  Not so.

Jesus says these words to His disciples to encourage them as He prepares to leave:

Do not let your hearts be troubled (distressed, agitated). You believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely on God; believe in and adhere to and trust in and rely also on Me. (John 14: 1 AMP)

Right there is where we put our trust – in Jesus Christ. He goes on to say this:

Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in Me? What I am telling you I do not say on My own authority and of My own accord; but the Father Who lives continually in Me does the (His) works (His own miracles, deeds of power).

Believe Me that I am in the Father and the Father in Me; or else believe Me for the sake of the [very] works themselves. [If you cannot trust Me, at least let these works that I do in My Father’s name convince you.]

I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, if anyone steadfastly believes in Me, he will himself be able to do the things that I do; and he will do even greater things than these, because I go to the Father.

 And I will do [I Myself will grant] whatever you ask in My Name [as presenting all that I Am], so that the Father may be glorified and extolled in (through) the Son.

[Yes] I will grant [I Myself will do for you] whatever you shall ask in My Name [as presenting all that I Am].

 If you [really] love Me, you will keep (obey) My commands.

 And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), that He may remain with you forever—

The Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), because it does not see Him or know and recognize Him. But you know and recognize Him, for He lives with you [constantly] and will be in you.

I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]; I will come [back] to you. (John 14: 10 – 18 AMP)

And also:

 Jesus answered, If a person [really] loves Me, he will keep My word [obey My teaching]; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home (abode, special dwelling place) with him.

 Anyone who does not [really] love Me does not observe and obey My teaching. And the teaching which you hear and heed is not Mine, but [comes] from the Father Who sent Me. I have told you these things while I am still with you. But the Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby), the Holy Spirit, Whom the Father will send in My name [in My place, to represent Me and act on My behalf], He will teach you all things. And He will cause you to recall (will remind you of, bring to your remembrance) everything I have told you. (John 14: 23 – 26)

Let us therefore make up our minds that we will submit ourselves to learn, to be taught and to heed the word of the Lord, whichever way He presents it to us.  Let us be diligent students of the Word and thankful for the teachers who will come to us…for when the student is ready, the teacher will come.

While I was in Vanuatu I was asked to speak in church. As usual I was travelling with more notes and pre-prepared sermons than I expected to use, but as I had been given enough warning I wanted to share something fresh from the Lord. I started to pay attention to my dreams…would the Lord use one of them as He often does? I started to read not just chapters of the Bible, but whole books at a time, expecting for Him to speak that way, as He often does. I was listening for the Spirit’s whisper, waiting, ever hopeful for a profound revelation to share with an expectant audience, the way He usually speaks. But the Lord was unusually silent.

For a whole week – nothing! Then Holy Spirit gave me eyes to see and I realized the Lord had been speaking loud and clear all week, but because I had a pre-conceived idea, based on previous experience, I was blind to the message. All week, my travel companion and I had been favored. We never waited for a bus (unusual in Vanuatu, where everyone and his dog use public transport), we never waited for a water taxi (same story – it doesn’t leave until there are a certain numbers of passengers) or for a spot in our favorite café, even though huge ocean liners spat swarms of tourists out in the port as regular as clock work. We were an offered taxi trip for less than the price of the bus, the best table in the nicest restaurant on Iririki was ours and we were even offered land to build a missionary training centre – at the owner’s expense! Suddenly it seemed as if people were throwing stuff at us – blessings were overtaking us.

It was only after Holy Spirit enlightened me and I started to count those little favors and blessings that I realized the extent of it. I had my message, titled “Expect favor”. Then we moved on to Fiji, eventually I returned home and tried to settle into the usual routines of being wife and housekeeper. It’s strange, but on the mission field hardship is easy and here, in the privileged first world, comfort and complacency is hard and my memory seems very short.

So, this morning, while I am contemplating the hardship of assimilating back into the normal and mundane and meditating on a prophetic word I received regarding a new season I am entering, I found myself thinking “new levels, new devils”. This is a common saying circulating through the church and it implies that with every promotion in the spirit, there will be an increased level of opposition and attack. As I started to come into agreement with this though, I heard Holy Spirit whisper “expect favor” and suddenly I remembered the week of overwhelming favor and blessing and I realized that right there is the reality of kingdom living. I had to confess and repent of my agreement with the enemy. Whom the Lord promotes, He also protects and favors and blesses and keeps.

Jeremiah 29:11 has been a favorite scripture of mine for a very long time.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future

Like I said, my memory is short but Holy Spirit reminds me of everything the Lord has said and suddenly, again, I feel overwhelmed by my own lack of faith, and by the enormity of the Father’s love for us. Father loves us and plans for us a future where we are prosperous in every way, where we will be promoted and have angels assigned to us to keep us safe, where we can live in hope and live free from every tie that bind us. Instead of girding our loins in anticipation of the next battle, fortifying our walls to keep any and every perceived enemy out, we should be expecting favor, prosperity and know that the hope we place in Him will never leave us ashamed. We need our expectation redeemed and our memories of past experiences healed. So this morning, all I can say is, “Come, Holy Spirit, come!”

Lord Jesus, do a new thing, touch our hearts, our minds, redeem our memories and experiences and help us to renew our mind, so that we can think Kingdom thoughts, that we can expect blessing and favor to be our portion. Heal us, Lord, from every lie that we believe, set us free from every tie that bind and reveal to us the Father’s love.

I am a bit late with September’s thoughts…I was off the grid, having a fantastic time in the Pacific.  Vanuatu was like going home.  Seeing familiar faces, meeting new friends, opening my own coconut to drink…what more could a girl ask for.

I was privileged to be the keynote speaker and lecturer at the 2nd National conference of Elim Somang church and again I was overwhelmed with kindness, honour and love.  How do I even begin to tell of all the great things The Lord has done.  Healing miracles were the order of the day, but more significant is the breakthrough people experienced.  After teaching on women’s role in the church and the misconceptions of women in ministry, for the first time ever brothers and sisters prayed for each other, blessing and honouring one another as equals in the body of Christ.  Contrary to custom this was a significant shift in the church.  Not bad for a day’s work!

Three times, during the evening altar call The Lord confirmed His work by the weather.  The first time, as I was praying, asking Holy Spirit to “blow through this place”, a gust of wind swept through the assembly.  A hush fell…we were paying attention.  The second time, a local pastor was praying.  It was overcast, not a glimmer of sunshine in sight, but as he prayed for The Lord to shine His light into our hearts, the clouds parted and everyone was bathed in bright sunlight.  As soon as the altar call finished, the cloud cover returned, not to shift again all day.  That same evening, on the final altar call before declaring the conference closed, I was praying over the delegates, asking Holy Spirit for a fresh and new anointing.  A gentle mist started to fall – we could feel it but nobody got wet!  Again, as soon as the altar call was over the mist stopped falling.  God was indeed in that place and as delegated recognised that, they decided to stay on.  Three days later they will still on Ifira, worshipping, dancing, praying and praising God.  How do you even describe in words the joy you feel, as God’s servant, when you hear that people stayed up all night, praying, praising and worshipping The Lord?

Too soon it was time to depart for my first visit to Fiji.  I feel very much like one of the 12 spies, sent to look over the promised land.  My report…there are giants there!  Those Fijian brothers are big guys, for sure.  Again, I was so blessed and privileged to be the house guest of a local family.  How awesome to experience life as no tourist will ever see a country.  It was a humbling and novel experience having to draw water from the well before you could wash anything – including yourself.

People are poor there, but so much richer than we are in the west.  My hosts slept on mats in the kitchen so that I could have a bed, everything is shared.  It reminded me of the Christians described in the book of Acts…”they had all things in common, nobody lacked”.  Food, cars, equipment, joy and sorrow – all is used for the common good.  As we were waiting for a bus at the side of the village road, I saw a small group of people walking  down the road.  One man was wearing a single flip-flop and as I was still trying to comprehend what I was seeing, another walked past, wearing the other flip-flop.  I guess the road got a bit long and they share and share alike.  That spoke so much to me of the heart of Fiji and it’s people.

Again, healing miracles happened, people were delivered of demons and The Lord lifted many heavy burdens off His children.  Families were restored as truth was revealed during lecture times.  On the last night the Holy Spirit broke out and together we sang, danced, wept and feasted.  Again, as people realised their God was truly present in their place, no-one was in any hurry to go to bed.  After dropping his family and guests home and settling in for the night, my host received another phone call.  As the only church member owning a car, he was called upon to drive a mother in labour to hospital, so he made another trip into Nausori.  Good thing his wife tagged along…little Speedy was born on the back seat just as they reached the hospital.  All in a days work in Fiji!

So here I am, sitting at my dining table, reflecting on a trip that is so hard to put into words.  People ask me “So, how was it?”  and I say “Great, thanks for asking.  God is good”. They seem too relieved that I don’t say “you should have been there” or something similarly “judgmental”, as “we’re not all called to be a missionary, you know!”  Like I said, the people I have been with are poor, but so much richer than you will ever know.

Revelation 3:17  NIV

You say , ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’  But you do not realise that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.

Selah.

I am writing from my soul’s home…Vanuatu, the friendliest place on earth. My culture is rooted in the Kingdom of God, my gene pool is a strange mix of African and European settler, my stomach is decidedly Asian, but my heart is Island all the way.

A strange thing seems to be happening to me of late.  As I said, my culture is Kingdom culture and I started to read the gospels again, searching out everything Jesus taught about the Kingdom of God.  As a daughter adopted into this Kingdom, I want to know all I can. I want to know more, because Jesus teaches us to pray for the Kingdom to come, on earth, as it is in heaven.  If Kingdom living was only for when we depart this world, surely He would have told us so and if I am to represent and cultivate that Kingdom here, I need to know some things. This quest has taken me on a journey of discovery that seems to frustrate me more often than it delights me. For every answer I find, I seem to uncover more questions.

Back to the strange thing…suddenly I am seeing obscure little verses, phrases or even just a word here and there, tucked away between the awesome stories I am so familiar with. I seemed to have moved from not just reading the lines, or even reading between the lines, but to read way beyond the lines and I find the journey fascinating.  If you have read the entry for May, you might recall me quoting Ephesians 2:6 “and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus”.  Since then I am still meditating on this and  I spend a lot of time imagining what this seat looks like and where it is.  I read accounts from people who had heavenly visitations, I drive my friends crazy talking about it and from time to time I even find myself wondering what I could do to twist Father’s arm to let me have a visitation too. I’d really like to see that seat!

Then this morning, as I am sitting here, listening to the sound of island birds, inhaling the tropical air, I find another one of the little hidden gems.  John 1: 18 read: “No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.” Do you see it? Jesus is in the bosom of the Father.  Is…present tense.  Yesterday, Jesus is in the bosom of the Father, today, He is in the bosom of the Father and forever He is in the bosom of the Father, and I, in Christ, am seated in heavenly places. Can this be true? Can I also be in the bosom of the Father?

I looked up the Greek word for “bosom” and I expected it to translate to “heart”, but what I found astonished me.  It is the Greek word “kolpos” and means “in front of the body, between the arms”.  Now I know Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father and I have just read He is in the bosom of the Father, just as I know Jesus was in the bosom of the Father, while simultaneously walking the earth  and as I said, every time I think I have an answer, I uncover more questions, but I have to admit, I love the notion of being cradled in Abba’s arms. Could that be where sons and daughters are seated? Could we dare to dream that we are cradled in front of Abba’s body, between His arms? I haven’t seen it yet, but I sure have felt His breath on my head.

Now I know every piece of writing needs an introduction, a middle and an end. I delivered on the intro, you got the middle bit, but as for the end…you will have to watch this space.

God Bless,  Nicky…