I am writing from my soul’s home…Vanuatu, the friendliest place on earth. My culture is rooted in the Kingdom of God, my gene pool is a strange mix of African and European settler, my stomach is decidedly Asian, but my heart is Island all the way.

A strange thing seems to be happening to me of late.  As I said, my culture is Kingdom culture and I started to read the gospels again, searching out everything Jesus taught about the Kingdom of God.  As a daughter adopted into this Kingdom, I want to know all I can. I want to know more, because Jesus teaches us to pray for the Kingdom to come, on earth, as it is in heaven.  If Kingdom living was only for when we depart this world, surely He would have told us so and if I am to represent and cultivate that Kingdom here, I need to know some things. This quest has taken me on a journey of discovery that seems to frustrate me more often than it delights me. For every answer I find, I seem to uncover more questions.

Back to the strange thing…suddenly I am seeing obscure little verses, phrases or even just a word here and there, tucked away between the awesome stories I am so familiar with. I seemed to have moved from not just reading the lines, or even reading between the lines, but to read way beyond the lines and I find the journey fascinating.  If you have read the entry for May, you might recall me quoting Ephesians 2:6 “and raised us up together, and made us sit together in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus”.  Since then I am still meditating on this and  I spend a lot of time imagining what this seat looks like and where it is.  I read accounts from people who had heavenly visitations, I drive my friends crazy talking about it and from time to time I even find myself wondering what I could do to twist Father’s arm to let me have a visitation too. I’d really like to see that seat!

Then this morning, as I am sitting here, listening to the sound of island birds, inhaling the tropical air, I find another one of the little hidden gems.  John 1: 18 read: “No one has seen God at any time. The only begotten Son, who is in the bosom of the Father, He has declared Him.” Do you see it? Jesus is in the bosom of the Father.  Is…present tense.  Yesterday, Jesus is in the bosom of the Father, today, He is in the bosom of the Father and forever He is in the bosom of the Father, and I, in Christ, am seated in heavenly places. Can this be true? Can I also be in the bosom of the Father?

I looked up the Greek word for “bosom” and I expected it to translate to “heart”, but what I found astonished me.  It is the Greek word “kolpos” and means “in front of the body, between the arms”.  Now I know Jesus is seated at the right hand of the Father and I have just read He is in the bosom of the Father, just as I know Jesus was in the bosom of the Father, while simultaneously walking the earth  and as I said, every time I think I have an answer, I uncover more questions, but I have to admit, I love the notion of being cradled in Abba’s arms. Could that be where sons and daughters are seated? Could we dare to dream that we are cradled in front of Abba’s body, between His arms? I haven’t seen it yet, but I sure have felt His breath on my head.

Now I know every piece of writing needs an introduction, a middle and an end. I delivered on the intro, you got the middle bit, but as for the end…you will have to watch this space.

God Bless,  Nicky…

On Saturday morning I was standing on a ladder, wearing protective eye ware, ear plugs and a dust mask. My husband was standing on the ground, watching me sand rust off the roof of a shipping container. He was making sure I was safe, as he had just given me my first lesson in operating a grinder. I have to admit, I was nervous. I had always, not so secretly, had a fear of grinders, despite the fact that I have a “thing” for power tools. I came in to our marriage with my own toolbox, full of power tools, that I am quite adept at handling and I am so blessed to have married a man secure enough to let me do my thing.
He watched for a few minutes and must have been satisfied that I wasn’t in any danger of doing harm to myself or the container, as he walked off to his own grinder and perch on his own ladder. It was in this solitary place that I started to think, as I often do.
I started to recall every time my husband has done this amazing thing for me – let me have a go. Often I would ask the same question as I did before my lesson this morning…”do you think I will be able to do this?”. The answer is more often than not the same as it was earlier… “Of course you can”. My husband, with his unfailing belief that I am more capable than I believe I am, has, through the years, encouraged me to be more than I ever believed I could be.
When I ask my husband “can I do this”, I am not asking his permission to try my hand at something. What I want to know is “do you believe that I can overcome my fear, my insecurity, the lies I believe about myself and succeed at this thing that seems too big for me right now. Do you believe I will grow into these shoes that are just too big for me at the moment?”. If he ever said no, I would have believed him and I have to admit he had to repeat himself often to undo the damage done through years of listening to the voice of the enemy, telling me that what I felt stirring in me was just too much, too big, too soon…too, too, too.
I have to thank my husband for every time he picked me up off the floor, sometimes literally. I owe him for the times I just wanted to give up, when I suffered yet another blow to my self esteem and confidence, and he took me by my shoulders and made me look him in the eyes, making me promise not to give up on myself, on the call, on the Lord, reminding me that mistakes and failures weren’t fatal.
This man has encouraged me to explore the length and breadth and depth of the Lord’s love for me, even when he realized I was going in a direction different from the one he signed up for when we married. He has allowed and even encouraged me to follow Jesus, even to the places he could not go with me. This has come at great cost to himself – having to fend for himself for weeks on end, while I travel and minister. He has invested his money, his time, his expertise and his heart in my vision, without one promise from the Lord that he would be released from his labour to join me in mine.
Isn’t this the picture Paul paints for us when he says to the Ephesians: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Eph5:25 – 33)
My husband is a wonderful provider, always has been, and I have been thoroughly spoiled with beautiful gifts during the years we have been married. But the greatest gift is that he understood, even before he really knew what he was doing, that my spirit and my soul also needed to be fed. He has never taken this directive lightly and this is my prayer for my sons, one a brand new husband, the other a soon-to-be bridegroom; and for every brother in Christ…that you would understand that you have the power and influence to make your bride radiant, like Christ is in the process of making His bride radiant.
Brothers, I urge you to be brave – allow Holy Spirit to deal with your hearts. Allow Him to heal your wounds and deal with your own insecurities so that you become a valiant champion for your wives and daughters, your sisters and your mothers. Through your actions and your words, tell them that they are stronger than they think. Believe for them, until they are able to believe this for themselves. By all means be a gentleman to your wives and a helping hand to your daughters, but never to the extent that she believes she needs a strong man to take care of her. Too many women go from relationship to relationship, trying to find a man to replace her daddy. The world is a cruel place and you will not always be around, therefore point her to her heavenly Father, allow Jesus to be her lover, encourage her to explore the call on her life. Learn from my husband, and many men just like him…doing this does not make you smaller, it enlarges you, it makes you a giant amongst men.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can harm me not! If ever there was a lie from the pit of hell, this is it! The Word of God is very clear about the creative power of our words. God spoke the world into being and we can likewise build up or tear down with our words. Often, in the very noble pursuit of being transparent, we go just a little bit too far and share just a little bit too much. I am not even referring to the blatant lies, gossip and slander people spout. Even with the best intentions we can “over share” and cause wounds that take some time to scab over.

If you are finding yourself in a season where you are nursing some wounds cause be false accusations, gossip, slander or even just the unkind words of someone who totally does not get you, I would like to encourage you from the Word. If you are suffering these things because you are so sold out for Jesus, that your normal Christian walk seems so abnormal to other Christians, that you are so passionate and on fire, that your very presence make other people seems cold and distant, here goes… I have to issue a warning though, the news gets worse before it gets better (wink, wink).

Matthew 5 is home to Jesus’ most famous sermon – the Sermon on the Mount, or the Beatitudes, as it is also known. Some of these are more “famous” than others…probably because they are easier on the ear. For example, verse 4 “Blessed and enviably happy [with a happiness produced by the experience of God’s favor and especially conditioned by the revelation of His matchless grace] are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted!” (AMP)

But then we get to more troublesome verses, for example verses 10 – 12.

10 Blessed and happy and enviably fortunate and spiritually prosperous (in the state in which the born-again child of God enjoys and finds satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of his outward conditions) are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake (for being and doing right), for theirs is the kingdom of heaven!

11 Blessed (happy, to be envied, and spiritually prosperous— with life-joy and satisfaction in God’s favor and salvation, regardless of your outward conditions) are you when people revile you and persecute you and say all kinds of evil things against you falsely on My account.

12 Be glad and supremely joyful, for your reward in heaven is great (strong and intense), for in this same way people persecuted the prophets who were before you. (AMP)

I know I want to be blessed and happy, enviably fortunate and spiritually prosperous. I really, really want God’s favor and salvation, all day, every day. I want more than anything to see His “kingdom come, on earth as it is in heaven”. There is a catch though – I realize I have to be able to suffer the injustice of persecution for His sake. Are we not exceedingly blessed in the west that persecution only comes in the form of careless words, maybe being overlooked for an invitation to the latest birthday party or that promotion, or at worst, having swear words fired at our heads. Let us hold fast to Jesus, knowing His words are spirit and truth. Let us pray for those who spitefully use us, those who gossip and slander and most of all, let us remember our brothers and sisters who pay a much higher price for the kingdom of heaven.

I want to encourage you to NOT shrink back, to keep going, to fuel the fiery passion in your heart, to keep pressing on, regardless. Jesus is encouraging us today with these words: “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your moral excellence and your praiseworthy, noble, and good deeds and recognize and honor and praise and glorify your Father Who is in heaven.”(Matt 5:16 AMP)

Friday morning I woke up early.  I got out of bed, grabbed a coffee and settled myself in my favorite chair in the chapel (my husband’s name for our study) and stuck the earphones of my iPod in my ears.  As I sipped my coffee, I studied a recent photo of my sons and I, sitting on a shelve on the wall.  It was taken at my youngest’s wedding and in the photo I am flanked by my boys, both of them leaning in to kiss me on my cheeks.  With a sense of deep gratitude and awe I meditated on the gift of our love for one another.  It was then that I felt Holy Spirit starting to speak to my heart, reminding me that Father is even more capable of loving me than I am of loving those young men and suddenly His love exploded in the room, into something almost tangible and awe-inspiring.

My gaze shifted to a large-than-life painting of Jesus, wearing a crown of thorns, hanging directly in front of me.  It was in this atmosphere of the Father’s love and acceptance, meditating on Jesus on the cross, that Holy Spirit started to speak and I grabbed my journal.  What I wrote that morning I want to share with you verbatim, unedited and unadulterated in a hope that I will not muddy the clean, fresh water of Holy Spirit for you.

“Beyond the battered, bruised and bleeding Jesus, there is a Victorious King.  The cross was about shame, pain and humiliation – the place where Jesus took it all.  There was no glory in it.  It was on the other side of the Cross that the glory was manifested.  The glory of the Cross is not in the bruising, it is in what the bruising paid for.  Many people are still stuck at the cross and carry their own bruising as a badge of honor, making it their identity.  Jesus never did this!  He endured the cross so that He again could take up His rightful place in Heaven; take up residence at the Father’s right hand as Victor. You (the bride of Christ) are now seated in heavenly places – that is your rightful place, yet you glory in your suffering. There is a place beyond the suffering, prepared for those who are prepared to step beyond the cross and to those desperate to enter through the door opened by Jesus enduring the cross.

 Jesus gloried in the suffering – it was His way back into the throne room.  You indentify with His suffering in your suffering, as a way for yourself to also enter the throne room.  Jesus is no longer the suffering Bridegroom; He is the Victorious Bridegroom and He is returning for a victorious bride, not a suffering, bleeding and bruised reed.”

The next portion of what Holy Spirit shared with me came in the form of a prayer.  I prayed this as I wrote it, and I am praying it as I write it now.   Will you pray it with me?

“Jesus, You are my Bridegroom, the Lover of my soul.  Forgive me for thinking and believing the lie that my wounds, my suffering, were glorious in any way.  Forgive me for not seeing that my unhealed wounds dishonor you – it says that that You are not able and that is a lie!  Now, because of my love for You, I repent of; and renounce, any wound, any pain, any suffering in my soul, my body and my spirit that testifies against Your ability to save me, to heal me and to transform me.  I confess, declare and decree that there is life beyond my cross, as there was for You, beyond Your cross.  Where You are Jesus, there I also want to be.  Thank you that Your blood cleanses me, so that I am able to enter into that place.  I realize the veil is there because I put it there.  You ripped the veil when Your flesh was ripped.  Now I ask that You will again rip my veil and take me beyond.”

 And He raised us up together with Him and made us sit down together [giving us joint seating with Him] in the heavenly sphere [by virtue of our being] in Christ Jesus (the Messiah, the Anointed One).                                                                     Ephesians 2:6 (AMP)

I have recently read a statistic quoted by another pastor – more than 50% of Christians do not attend or belong to a church fellowship.  This alarmed me, but I will lie if I said I was surprised.

Therefore I want to share the following dream The Lord gave me in a dream, shortly after I returned from the Philippines.  In the dream I was at a camp and I was watching some people doing their dishes at a set of basins mounted on the wall, outside the kitchen.  Each person would only do their own, ignoring everything that did not belong to them personally.  They had an attitude of “every man for himself”.  It was then that I noticed a small trench in front of the kitchen door.  This trench was filled with the largest tarantulas I have ever seen…it was chilling, to say the least.  What was worse was that one had made its way up my leg and was now meandering up my arm.  I swiftly brushed that spider off my arm!

Then the scene changed.  It was time to go home, and people started filing onto a bus.  Some were very reluctant to get on that bus and had to be rounded up with a warning that they would be left behind if they did not get on the bus promptly. 

This dream is rich in symbolism and I feel called to share this more widely than what I usually do with prophetic dreams.  I was immediately reminded of 2 Corinthians 5:1 where Paul says: “For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.”  In these bodies we are merely camping out and we have an eternal home waiting for us, if we have received Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour. 

The kitchen speaks of the heart, intention, motive, plans, passion and ambition.  It’s the place where we “cook up” ideas and it is at the entrance of the heart, our innermost part, where a ditch is, filled with tarantulas.  The symbolism of tarantulas is evil, deception, false doctrine and as tarantulas are carnivorous spiders who hunt by building a silk-lined trap to ambush, it speaks of a trap in front of our hearts, a place of deception and temptation to fall for a lie.

The bus speaks of the church, the body of believers and in this case, is the vehicle for getting the “campers” safely home. 

So let me put it all together now.  We are but sojourners, camping out in tents and we are making our way home.  In the process we are in danger of deception.  In Matthew 24:24 we read “For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect.”  If being saved protected us from deception there would be no need of this warning, would there?

The Lord is calling us to guard our hearts, to stay filled with Holy Spirit and we have to take responsibility for each other.  We cannot have the attitude of king Hezekiah (see 2 Kings 20 for the full story) that destruction for someone else is OK as long as we have peace in our own day.  We should take responsibility for doing our own “dishes” but we cannot neglect correcting and/or training each other for the sake of peace.

Not only this, but the way to get home safely is to get (and stay) on the bus.  For me this was hard to hear as I, like probably 90% of Christians who had been saved more than a week, can testify to church sometimes feeling very unsafe.  Being part of a family puts you in danger of getting hurt, abused, ill-treated and judged.  I am no different and as we are all broken people, coming to the Father’s house to be healed and purified (a messy business) I don’t know why we are so surprised when it happens.  The local church is and will always be the Father’s answer to the world’s problems.  We have been created for relationship and we operate far better in community.  It is the safeguard against deception and being on the “bus” is what will keep us safe and bring us home.  Being united with the body of Christ, working together in a single-minded purpose of fulfilling Jesus’ commission is what will command the blessing.

I have seen my fair share of power abuse, of gossiping and every other objection I hear from believers who have had their fingers burned.  I sympathize, but the fact remains that it grieves Father when we, His children, are not united in Christ.  May I implore you again, my hurt brother and sister, to try again, to find a fellowship that you can belong to where you go with the attitude of a servant, not for what you can get, but for what you can add.  You are needed!  The Lord bless you with His shalom.

Here I am, sitting at the kitchen table of Mission House, Ayungon, Philippines, reflecting on my first ten days.  I can tell you about the struggles of the missionaries I am visiting, I can try and describe washing from a bucket of cold water and dealing with the blocked toilet, about constant emails, trying to raise funds and four-hour long trips to the city using three different modes of public transport, only to find the bank account still empty.

I would be able to entertain you with descriptions of tricycle rides, where 12 people all squeeze onto a small vehicle, clutching bags of shopping, rice and buckets of smelly fish, or Erla and I balancing a bunch of coconuts on our knees because the roof space is taken up by the box with our weekly shop.

I can tug at your heart strings by telling stories of sad children, burdened mothers, despondent fathers, dirt, depravity and oppression. I can do all of those but I won’t.  I would rather tell you about the fun we are having, dancing around to the beat of a badly played drum, waving our banners, swishing our ribbons.  I would rather you know about the young girl who turned up last night to look for someone to pray with her.  You see, she had been to the service in the plaza and heard about this Jesus Who loves her and she wanted to come and meet with Him.

I want to tell you about the blind man, Henry, who found his way over after Jesus told him to come.  Henry, who learned to play the keyboard from tinkering on a child’s toy and now followed the worship team practicing in the kitchen – the only place big enough for a drum kit.  I want to fill you in on the little children who laid hands on Henry and prayed a prayer full of faith for Henry’s eyes to be restored – the same little hands laid on my head when a headache sent by the enemy tried to lay me low.

You need to hear about young people so hungry for Life and Light, that they come early on Sunday morning, bringing their own chairs rather than miss out on hearing the word of God,  broken and abused young men who come and sit on the step to read a daily devotional left in the kitchen.

God is good and He is madly in love with all His children and here I see Him lavishing His love on the marginalised and the hurting. I love Him even more for it.  I love Him for changing my heart, for breaking it and filling it with compassion to overflowing.  I love Him for doing it for me, because my heart was hard and calloused and in and of myself I had nothing to offer these precious ones, but now I have the map to living water, where they are free to drink until they too will overflow into their nation.

We all love a good quote, so let me start by quoting the Son of God. “If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” (Mark 3:25 NIV) or even better yet, from the NLT- “Similarly, a family splintered by feuding will fall apart.”

You talk to any Christian and for most part, they will agree that God has created us for relationship and community, yet statistics reveal that more than 50% of Christians do not go to church. Many brothers and sisters love Jesus with all their heart, yet cannot bear to be around other Christians, let alone go through the agony of sitting through yet another church service.

Christians are hurt, wounded, bleeding, tired of the politics and drama, and fed up with the backstabbing, the gossiping, and the insipid messages. Yet, deep in the heart of everyone who has tasted the living water, there is a cry for true community, a place to belong, a family that is welcoming, accepting and safe to be around. The children of God are desperate for authentic, covenant relationship – the kind that says “I can see you’re a mess, and I am sure you can see that I am pretty messy too, but let’s stick together as we work with the Lord, as we give each other room to be transformed into His image”.

I have been around church long enough to have had my fair share of church barbeques, church picnics, church camps, church outings and the rest. Yet, with all our efforts to connect people to one another, to create some form of unity, we have failed miserably and the result is plain to see. We are a house divided, a family splintered by feuding and falling apart.
So what is the remedy? I believe that we had it all wrong, a bit back to front. We have worked very hard to connect people to one another, to build some sort of spiritual community and we have hoped that by doing so, we would become united, that we would inspire the flock to grasp their leader’s vision and run with it. We’ve encouraged people to bite their tongues, turn the other cheek, consider what Jesus would do…and yet we have been sliding down a slippery slope, into what now seems to be a free-fall into the abyss.

I believe with all my heart that the answer to every question, the medicine for every illness, the remedy for whatever ails us, is JESUS. Only Jesus, always Jesus. Jesus is the key to putting back together a family splintered by feuding; Jesus is the One Who will unite a house divided against itself.

Right here, in the book of Colossians, chapter 1 verses 15 – 18 is the prescription:
The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For in Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. And He is the head of the body, the church; He is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything He might have the supremacy. (NIV)

Jesus is the answer for a fragmented body, for a feuding family, for a broken marriage, for every part of our lives that is falling apart at the seams. Once a person is altogether connected to the Head, uniting with others, who are equally connected to the head, becomes easy. It’s inevitable that when we are connected to the Head we want to be connected to the body and whatever is born out of Him holds together because it must. In Jesus there is no fragmentation, no brokenness, no darkness and no lack. As ministers of the Word, as priest, prophets and kings of our homes, our workplaces, our schools, our circles of friends, let us labour to connect people to the Head, Jesus Christ, rather than work so hard to connect them to one another. That part will take care of itself, for as we have been told “birds of a feather flock together”.

For some time now I have been meditating upon the fruit of the spirit – joy in particular.  I have read the Word, done online searches and found that there are that many ideas and opinions on the topic.  The contention seems to be whether joy and happiness are equal.  There is a school of thought that says “absolutely not”, but I have also found authors who argue that any Christian contending that  joy is not the same as happiness; that you can be full of joy, yet be utterly miserable, is just offering an excuse to justify their own miserable, depressed dispositions and sour personalities.  The topic fascinates me as I am in a hard season, with moments of sheer happiness as the world defines it, few and far between.  I miss my children, my home, my friends and at times I feel desperately lonely, like many of you also, I’m sure. Now that I have made a public confession that right now I am not a happy camper, let me make a little detour and take you back to a conversation in my dining room around Christmas…

 My favorite almost-8-year old girlfriend came with her parents to share our table.  She had some food left on her plate and we all know the rule…dessert was in peril.  She offered the left-overs to mum, who declined.  Dad?  No takers there either.  She even eyed me hopefully for a brief moment… Then the two of us had a little girlfriend-to-girlfriend chat.  The dialogue went something like this:

 Me:    Do you know why you still have that food on your plate?

Miss:  No. (Her little eyebrows scrunched up in a quizzical frown)

Me:    You did a very bad marketing job (laughing on the inside)

Miss:  What’s “marketing”?

 I realized the conversation had dried up – everyone was listening now.

 Me:  Marketing is when you convince someone what you have to offer is something they really want.  See, what you offered us were left-overs.  If you had told us that what’s on your plate was utterly delicious and very special and you loved  us so much that you just had to share it with us, someone would have been  more than happy to help you out.  That’s good marketing.

 Now I do hear some say “Shame on you for teaching the kid to lie” (and you are right – shame on me, feet of clay exposed) but in my own defense I did sample the cooking wine and I wasn’t really thinking about the moral implications and we did have a really good time for the rest of the evening marketing everything from after-dinner coffee to the cleaning duties.  Back to where I started at the beginning – joy.

The online Webster’s define joy as “feeling of great happiness; the source or cause of great happiness:  someone (a person) or something that gives joy to someone and success in doing, finding or getting something”.

 Happiness is defined as: “a state of being happy; an experience that makes you happy; a state of well-being and contentment and a pleasure or satisfying experience”.

 Let me put it like this…happiness is eating that piece of chocolate cake, knowing that you will have to deal with the regret later and joy is like sitting down to a healthy, yet somewhat bland meal, knowing that you are investing in your future well-being.  I find very little happiness on the treadmill at 5 o’clock in the morning but great joy in knowing I am healthier and fitter in my 40’s than I have been in my 30’s.

 We have been conned with (and bought into) a great marketing job and I’m not even talking about the advertising world selling us happiness in yet another new and improved package.  We have been sold a gospel that promises us happiness on the temporal level, we have been marketed a disciple’s life without sacrifice, struggle and pain.  So when it comes – those hard, hard seasons – we feel a sense of entitlement and we’re angry at the unfairness of it all.  We bought a Bible without scriptures like James 1: 2 and 3  ^“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”  We read these and mutter “whatever” under our breath.  We think we are entitled to eat, drink and be merry, that Jesus died to make us happy.

 In the book of John, chapter 15, verses 9 – 11 Jesus speaks these words:  ⁹ “As the Father has loved Me, so have I loved you. Now remain in My love. ¹⁰ If you keep my commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commands and remain in His love. ¹¹ I have told you this so that My joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.

 The word joy in this scripture is the Greek word chara and mean: joy, gladness – received from you, the cause or occasion of joy AND the person who is one’s joy.

 Let me give you verse 11 again, this time taking the liberty to add the Greek meaning.   

 ^“I have told you this so that My joy (the cause or occasion, the Person who is My joy) may be in you and that your joy (the gladness received from the Person who is our joy) may be complete.

It is when His joy, the Person of Holy Spirit, is in us that we can experience complete joy, knowing that He enables our obedience, our daily acts of obedience is what helps us to remain in His love and when we remain in Jesus’ love we also dwell in the Father’s love.  That’s my happy place…Daddy’s arms.

Paul asks of the Thessalonians this question:  For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when He comes? (1 Thes 2:19)  Then he goes ahead and answers the question by saying “Is it not you?  Indeed, you are our glory and joy. (V 20)

Jesus, “for the joy set before Him, endured the cross”.  The joy set before Him – us.  Me and you and every other human ever to draw breath.  Should our joy not be in Him, the Person that gives occasion for joy and the hope of an eternity with Him and in pouring out our lives for the joy of others, so that we, like Paul, can look at people and say “Is it not you?  Indeed, you are our joy”.  Even when times are hard and we don’t feel particularly happy, we have Joy living in us, we have the hope of an eternity living in the presence of Joy, breathing, living, being  joy.  Surely, that is something to sing about!

I am coming out of a very hard, difficult and emotionally exhausting season, as I suspect many you do too.  Many days I felt like giving up on my call, giving in to self pity, agreeing with the voice of the enemy that spoke through human voices, spoke through my inner voice.  Voices that called for me to come back into bondage, voices that told me I didn’t measure up, voices that reminded me of my past failures and “enlightened” me to my shortcomings.  But then from deep inside of me the Spirit called me to rise up, to come up higher, to take courage…

This morning I read something I wrote a while ago and I found myself thinking…this is good, Nicky, pay attention.  Listen to this lady, she’s on to something.  If you have read this before, read it again.  If you have not, enjoy.  I pray that you too will hear the Voice of Truth and that He will silence the Liar for you too.  By the way, in case you were wondering, the lovely young man featured in the story is now husband to lovely Gemma and yes, he added a few more.

TATTOOS, RED LIPS AND DANGLY EARRINGS     

Written 31 August 2012

My youngest son has put the cat amongst the pigeons, getting himself tattooed.  Word got out at our cell meeting and the reactions were interesting, to say the least. 

It got me thinking and I started to question the Lord about all this.  I can’t say I blame the boy.  You see, I like to wear colorful outfits from faraway lands, I paint my toes green and blue, sometimes they even glitter, I pierced my nose once and the stud makes an appearance now and again, I like my lippy and my jewelry make a statement – I am colorful!  I sway to the music when I worship, I clap, I laugh, I cry and sometimes I even shout “Amen!” when I like what a preacher says.  I walk barefoot, I sit on the carpet, I even have a glass of champagne when the occasion calls for serious celebration.  Now I want to tell my son no piercings and no tattoos.  I think not.

Having said all that, I have to tell you I fear God with an all-consuming holy fear…but I love Him more.  So I talk to Him about these things, just to make sure I am not off-side with Him. I want to share some thoughts with you. 

As I was meditating on these things I saw a mental picture of rows and rows of cages. Small, damp, cold, bare cages.  Jesus was walking from one to the other, unlocking them and swinging the gates wide open.  Some people saw the gates swing open and just about ran Jesus over, desperate to get out of there.  Some waited a while, stood at the entrance, looked out, saw others running, jumping and dancing outside.  They longed to be there too, so they took hesitant steps towards their freedom.  The further they went from those cages, the raster they ran.  The faster they ran, the freer they became.  Other still lingered in their cages.  You see, it’s all they know.  Those cages are safe.  No temptation there.  No distractions there.  It’s familiar.  Their grandparents lived in cages, just like those.  So did their parents…never did them any harm is… is what they say to themselves.  They know exactly what is expected inside those cages.  Tradition has taught them well.  They know when the next meal is going to come and they have very little responsibility inside.  No-one ever ventures in there and if they do, they are very quickly enlightened to the rules and laws inside the cage, making it a safe place for all.  No unexpected, “unpleasant” surprises for anyone.  Often these ones will peer out of the cage, watch the ones frolicking outside and judge them harshly, criticizing the way they dress, speak, worship, serve.  It’s hard to think outside the box when it is all you know.

What a sad existence, especially in the light of what the Word has to say about all this.  Galatians 5:1 reads “So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law”.NLT  Yet another translation puts it like this: “The Messiah has set us free so that we may enjoy the benefits of freedom. So keep on standing firm in it, and stop putting yourselves under the yoke of slavery again.” ISV

I love the part I have highlighted for you – stop putting yourselves under the yoke of sin and of the law.  The law kills but Jesus sets us free so that we can be totally free, without bondage of any kind.  Jesus does not condemn us, He expects nothing but our devotion and our love.  He will receive it through broken vessels; imperfect songs and mumbled prayers from a pure and adoring heart pleases Him more than the well-polished performance He has to endure too often.  He would rather have a tattooed 18-year old with a heart breaking for the homeless, the poor and the broken, than a well-polished little Pharisee, when He is out, about town where the need is.

The verse I quoted is not just one verse, taken out of context, excusing my ungodly habits.  Look at John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed, and Romans 8:2 “ because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.” And Romans 6:16, 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance.  You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

You see, friends, it’s not the length of your skirt, the size of your earrings, the color of you nail polish, or the lack of it, that matters.  It’s whether you take Jesus at His word, trusting Him to preserve you as you make your way through life, dancing, singing, sitting on the carpet, painting your lips.  I do not know what your cage is like or why you fear to leave it, but I know this, you do not have to make it your home. 

Whether you are confined by religious tradition, the letter of the law, secret sin, addiction, bitterness, pain, anxiety, the spirit of fear, it’s all the same – you are a captive, living in a cage with a wide-open door.  You do not have to fear falling into sin, Jesus will preserve you and present you to the Father, without blemish or spot – He promised to do that for us.  As you surrender to the law of Love, give yourself unconditionally to the Messiah, He will keep your feet on the paths of righteousness.  Trust Him!  If you are caught in a web of addiction, of sin, of bitterness, unforgiveness or even religiosity, I want to tell you that you do not have to make that horrible place your home.  If you haven’t already, I dare you to call on Jesus and allow Him to unlock your cage, and when He does, run friend, run.

If you are on the outside, having to listen to the voices coming from the cages, condemning you, stealing your joy and causing you to feel judged, weighed and found too light, I want to encourage you to set your eyes on the Lord.  You will find Him right there, where you are, encouraging you to enjoy your freedom.  He will guide you, He will encourage you, He will teach you and He will use you.  Join your voice to mine, call to the caged ones, draw them out, and entice them to join us on the outside.  Pray for freedom and may the Lord have mercy on us all.  Stay free, keep moving further and further away from the cage and keep your ear on the ground, it is the season of God’s favor.  Listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit as He guides you and have fun loving Him.  It’s a joy and the joy of the Lord IS our strength.

A little girl bangs on the door.  I open and she says: “Mum didn’t knock loud enough!”  She’s on a mission, so focused that I don’t get my customary hug.  I have to call her back, teasing her about something, as I always do.  She has a little ziplock bag in hand – she brought a gift.  In the baggie is enough money to pay school fees for another little one, far away.

We have a little ceremony – with little one hiding behind mum’s legs.  I am sure there was a speech prepared, but the moment became just too big for one little girl. So mum explains…her pocket money is divided in three.  One third is for saving, the second is for sowing and the last for spending.  So she comes out from behind mum’s legs, she hands over her ziplock bag, she poses for a photo and sits down on the edge of the sofa.  Something’s up.  More to share and again mum must help.

The story is shared and a little hand opens, reluctantly, to reveal a few sweaty coins.  She counts them one last time.  “What will this buy where you live?”  The receiver is speechless, so all eyes are on me now.  “Well, that depends.  Some lollies cost more than others, but I am sure something nice can be bought for that.”  Not a satisfactory answer at all, the frown tells me so.  She hops up and quickly hands them over – almost as if she’s afraid she will change her mind.

So let me share that story too.  The coins in her hand represent half of her “spending third”.  Giving the third meant for “sowing” wasn’t hard – it never belonged to her.  Even when the gift was given, it wasn’t hers to keep.  Giving that portion was good and noble, a lovely thing for a little one to do.  But the coins clutched in a little hand…the giving hurt.  Really hurt.

So I find myself standing before my Father, clutching a fist-full of coins in a sweaty palm, thinking of the scene I witnessed just hours ago.  Giving Him praise and honour and worship and glory is easy – it never belonged to me in the first place, not mine to keep.  It’s the thought of letting go of the pain of a stab in the back, a stab in the heart, offering forgiveness for offence and repentance for sin, my portion to keep if I want to, that causes me to hold on a little tighter.  Like the little one, I count the coins in my hand one last time – “what will this buy in the kingdom where You live?”, I ask.  Like the little one, I drop the coins in an outstretched hand, quickly, before I change my  mind.  This kind of giving hurts…