They replied, “So what should we do if we want to do God’s work?”  Jesus answered, “The work you can do for God starts with believing in the One he has sent.”  They replied, “Show us a miracle so we can see it, and then we’ll believe in you. Moses took care of our ancestors who were fed by the miracle of manna every day in the desert, just like the Scripture says, ‘He fed them with bread from heaven.’ What sign will you perform for us?”

 “The truth is,” Jesus said, “Moses didn’t give you the bread of heaven. It’s my Father who offers bread that comes as a dramatic sign from heaven. The bread of God is the One who came out of heaven to give his life to feed the world.” “Then please, sir, give us this bread every day,” they replied.  Jesus said to them, “I am the Bread of Life. Come every day to me and you will never be hungry. Believe in me and you will never be thirsty.                                    

  John 6: 28 – 35 The Passion Translation

  A few months ago, I started to apply myself to the art and science of baking sourdough bread.  My journey with home baked bread started when I was a teenager, but it’s only now, as I have matured a lot, that I have cultivated the patience and persistence that it requires to bake sourdough.  For those in the know it’s no secret that it takes months and months of trail and error to perfect the technique and it takes patience to wait for the starter to mature enough to achieve a good rise.  Even when you have a good, strong, healthy starter it takes at least a week of feeding and nurturing a starter before you can bake another loaf. 

In the meantime, you have a lot of discard…each time you feed the starter you have to scoop some out to make room for the fresh flour and water.  If you neglect this process, your starter runs out of food and dies. Then there’s the baking process.  The loaf is baked inside a cast iron pot, heated to an extreme temperature and the loaf itself is baked fast and hot!  I can testify that getting distracted at this point, even for a few minutes, can be disastrous, unless you like your bread charcoaled.

Yesterday, as I pulled a perfect loaf from the oven, Holy Spirit started to speak to me about the process.  It’s no different from our Christian walk.  No wonder Jesus Himself used the analogy of bread and yeast to teach the people.  Sourdough consists of the natural, unseen yeast that float around in the atmosphere.  What a powerful picture!  We too are bombarded with spiritual “yeast” floating around in the atmosphere around us.  How easy it is to get infected by it. 

In Matthew 16 we read an account of Jesus’ altercation with the Pharisees and Sadducees, who questioned Jesus in order to trap Him.  They demanded a sign so that He could prove His divinity.  Jesus and His disciples left by boat and we get an insight into what Jesus taught them: When the disciples reached the other side of the sea, they realized that they had forgotten to bring bread. ⁶Jesus said to them, “Watch out and be on your guard against the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” ⁷ They began to discuss this among themselves, saying, “He said that because we did not bring bread.” ⁸ But Jesus, aware of this, said, “You men of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves that you have no bread? ⁹ Do you still not understand or remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many baskets you picked up? ¹⁰ Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many large baskets you picked up? ¹¹ How is it that you fail to understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But beware of the leaven of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” ¹² Then they understood that He did not tell them to beware of the leaven of bread, but of the [false] teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.  (Amplified)

Like a good yeast starter, our character and our walk with the Lord takes a long time to be perfected.  There’s process involved and we need patience and perseverance.  Like loafs being only as good as the yeast that rises it, we are only as good as the spiritual food we eat.  Jesus alone is the Bread of Life.  He is the only bread that will satisfy the deep hunger of the human heart.  Every other spiritual food will disappoint us.  There’s a lot of stuff inside of us that needs to be scooped out and discarded to make room for the good food that will help us to grow healthy and strong.

Through the ages people have tried to feed their souls and spirits with the delicacies of the world, and we are still trying today.  Entertainment satisfies for a short while, addiction of every kind tries hard to fill the grumbling spiritual stomach, but soon the hunger for more drugs, more drink, more pornography, more shopping, more gossip, more food, more religion etc. returns.  The appetite is never satisfied.

Deep in the heart of man is a hunger and thirst for that which only Jesus can provide.  He alone satisfies. This morning He would say to us: “Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy? Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good, and delight yourself in abundance. (Isaiah 55:2) Let us hear what the Spirit is saying to us today and feast on Jesus, the Word made flesh, the Bread that never disappoints.

I am the bread of life – Jesus of Nazareth (John 6:48)

There is no spot of ground, however arid, bare or ugly, that cannot be tamed into such a state as may give an impression of beauty and delight.                                          Gertrude Jekyll

You know how sometimes you hear one line of a song, or you see a word printed somewhere, or a person makes a simple comment and suddenly the Lord not only highlights it, but He expands on it to the point where you are meditating on that thing for weeks?

 Well, recently I had just such an experience.  Fred and I were cleaning up a very unloved garden.  I was on my knees, doing battle with grass that had grown into the flowerbed, spreading nefarious roots everywhere.  It was a hot Perth day and made for hard, sweaty work.  Fred made a causal comment.  “No wonder it’s such hard work…they just kept putting bark over the top”, he said.  Now for those of you who do not garden, I will explain.  Bark is typically put in garden beds to keep weeds down and moisture in.  The problem is that often grass will creep underneath, going far before a tiny little shoot would be visible above ground.  By the time the blades appear, the root system has been well established underground.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lawn as much as everyone else.  A well-manicured, lush, green patch of grass is the most inviting place to hang out but when those suckers get into the flowerbeds, they no longer do what they are supposed to do.  Instead of being a soft, cool place to take refuge on a hot day, it becomes a nightmare that chokes the roots of everything else.

References to gardens are spread throughout the bible.  One of the first things we learn about God is that He established a beautiful, fruitful garden where He walked with man.  That’s where the fall happened…that same garden and it’s from where the curse came.  From that moment on, the garden and man would be in constant battle with each other.  One would sweat to tame the garden, while the garden would fight back by producing weeds and thorns amongst the crops.

Our lives can be likened to gardens.  Some are oases, places of refuge or bearing much fruit.   Some are barren and some produces thorns and thistles, but none escape the searching eye of Holy Spirit.  From John 15, verse 2 we see that the Lord not only cuts off branches that bear no fruit, but He also prunes the fruit baring ones so that they will bear more fruit.

Let’s go back to the flower beds full of grass.  As I was working and pondering the situation Holy spirit started to speak to me about the things that invade our “flower beds” causing beauty to be choked.  Some of the roots came from next door.  It crept under the fence, and undetected, kept on creeping underground, unseen.  It spoke to me of those generational curses and familiar spirits that goes from generation to generation…undetected and unseen but causing much damage.  It keeps spreading until it runs into someone who is prepared to do the hard work of digging deep to uproot every kind of evil.

Some of the roots came from the adjacent lawn and it reminded me of the things that invade our space from the world we live in.  This invasion could have been prevented by placing a barrier between the lawn and the flower bed but the lack of edging made it easy for the lawn to keep going.  For us, it means that getting too complacent, living without boundaries and not being mindful of the world’s ever-present influence, can cause the cares and filth of the world to invade our souls to the point where the light in us gets strangled.  Much of what ails us has been growing unseen and unchecked for far too long.  Much of the body has become so infiltrated by the world and its systems that the church barely resembles the Bride Jesus died for.

But all is not lost.  For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6). Jesus is still in the business of saving us and Holy Spirit is our helper.  He searches the deepest recesses of our hearts; He knows our beginning and He knows our end.  Our job is to submit ourselves under God’s hand, to surrender every part of us to His scrutiny and to yield to the voice of Holy Spirit.

King David wrote the most beautiful psalm in Psalm 139, where he invites the Lord to search him and know him and to weed out everything that does not please Him.  Read it prayerfully, as an invitation to the Lord to do the same for you…

You Know All About Me

139 For the Pure and Shining One
King David’s poetic song

¹ Lord, you know everything there is to know about me.
² You perceive every movement of my heart and soul,
and you understand my every thought before it even enters my mind.
^3–4 You are so intimately aware of me, Lord.
You read my heart like an open book
and you know all the words I’m about to speak
before I even start a sentence!
You know every step I will take before my journey even begins.
⁵ You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way,
and in kindness you follow behind me
to spare me from the harm of my past.
With your hand of love upon my life,
you impart a blessing to me.
⁶ This is just too wonderful, deep, and incomprehensible!
Your understanding of me brings me wonder and strength.
⁷ Where could I go from your Spirit?
Where could I run and hide from your face?
⁸ If I go up to heaven, you’re there!
If I go down to the realm of the dead, you’re there too!
⁹ If I fly with wings into the shining dawn, you’re there!
If I fly into the radiant sunset, you’re there waiting!
¹⁰ Wherever I go, your hand will guide me;
your strength will empower me.
¹¹ It’s impossible to disappear from you
or to ask the darkness to hide me,
for your presence is everywhere, bringing light into my night.
¹² There is no such thing as darkness with you.
The night, to you, is as bright as the day;
there’s no difference between the two.
¹³ You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside
and my intricate outside,
and wove them all together in my mother’s womb.^[d]
14 I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex!
Everything you do is marvellously breathtaking.
It simply amazes me to think about it!
How thoroughly you know me, Lord!
¹⁵ You even formed every bone in my body
when you created me in the secret place,
carefully, skilfully shaping me from nothing to something.
¹⁶ You saw who you created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,
the number of days you planned for me
were already recorded in your book.
^17–18 Every single moment you are thinking of me!
How precious and wonderful to consider
that you cherish me constantly in your every thought!
O God, your desires toward me are more
than the grains of sand on every shore!
When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.
¹⁹ O God, come and slay these bloodthirsty, murderous men!
For I cry out, “Depart from me, you wicked ones!”
²⁰ See how they blaspheme your sacred name
and lift up themselves against you, but all in vain!
²¹ Lord, can’t you see how I despise those who despise you?
For I grieve when I see them rise up against you.
²² I have nothing but complete hatred and disgust for them.
Your enemies shall be my enemies!
²³ God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart.
Examine me through and through;
find out everything that may be hidden within me.
Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares.
²⁴ See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on,
and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways—
the path that brings me back to you.

Last year, as the whole world’s attention was focused on American politics, the Lord impressed upon me not to get distracted by it all and that I had to stay with my assignment.  Then a few weeks ago, as I was having a shower before church, Holy spirit started to talk to me about smoke and mirrors.  I am going to unpack further what I believe is a word for us for 2021.

Let’s talk about smoke, or smoke screens, to be more specific.  In Exodus 19:18 we read that Mount Sinai was wrapped in smoke because the Lord descended on it to speak to Moses. It was a barricade between the Lord and the people down below.  In Revelation 15:8 it’s prophesied that the temple of God will be filled “with smoke from the glory of God and from his power, and no one could enter the sanctuary until the seven plagues of the seven angels were finished”. Smoke is used to obscure from vision that which one person doesn’t want another person to see.

Smoke is still being used, in situations of active combat, to screen the movement of an army from its enemies.  Whereas smoke screens were originally used to hide movement from enemies’ line of sight, modern technology means that they are now also available in new forms; they can screen in the infrared as well as visible spectrum of light to prevent detection by infrared sensors or viewers, and they are also available for vehicles in a super-dense form used to block laser beams of enemy target designators or range finders.

Smoke screen are used by the infantry and well as the navy and it is said that the first naval use was proposed by Sir Thomas Cochrane in 1812, although Cochrane’s proposal was as much intended to be an asphyxiant as an obscurant. (Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoke_screen)

This brings me to the prophetic application for us.  We are in active combat (or suppose to be) and although we have an enemy, as the Bible points out clearly, we cannot forget that we an enemy too.  We are supposed to be an active force fighting against the powers of darkness. 

Ephesians 6: 10 – 18 reminds us that we are called and thoroughly equipped to fight the good fight.

¹⁰ Now my beloved ones, I have saved these most important truths for last: Be supernaturally infused with strength through your life-union with the Lord Jesus. Stand victorious with the force of his explosive power flowing in and through you.¹¹ Put on God’s complete set of armourprovided for us, so that you will be protected as you fight against the evil strategies of the accuser! ¹² Your hand-to-hand combat is not with human beings, but with the highest principalities and authorities operating in rebellion under the heavenly realms. For they are a powerful class of demon-gods and evil spirits that hold this dark world in bondage. ¹³ Because of this, you must wear all the armour that God provides so you’re protected as you confront the slanderer, for you are destined for all things and will rise victorious.¹⁴ Put on truth as a belt to strengthen you to stand in triumph. Put on holiness as the protective armour that covers your heart. ¹⁵ Stand on your feet alert, then you’ll always be ready to share the blessings of peace.¹⁶ In every battle, take faith as your wrap-around shield, for it is able to extinguish the blazing arrows coming at you from the Evil One! ^17–18 Embrace the power of salvation’s full deliverance, like a helmet to protect your thoughts from lies. And take the mighty razor-sharp Spirit-sword of the spoken Word of God.  (TPT)

As a company of intrepid, radical firebrands are rising meteorically, our enemy is hard at word creating smokescreens to conceal his movements and to distract us from the truth.  I believe that this year we will need more discernment than ever, coupled with Godly revelation and wisdom in order to see what the enemy does not want us to see.  We will need to step away from what we see with our natural eyes, we will have to subdue our emotions and we will have to lay down the wisdom of men in order to see into the smoke and discern what’s really behind it all.  Now, more than ever, we need to pay attention to our “gut feelings”, the still quiet voice of Holy Spirit and the dreams we dream.  When something feels “off” wait, pray and follow the peace of the Lord. The enemy is using various methods to try and stop the people of God from seeing in the spirit but greater is He in us than He who’s in the world. We are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus.

This brings me to the mirrors.  James 1: 23 – 27 (TPT) reads:

²³ If you listen to the Word and don’t live out the message you hear, you become like the person who looks in the mirror of the Word to discover the reflection of his face in the beginning ²⁴ You perceive how God sees you in the mirror of the Word, but then you go out and forget your divine origin. ²⁵ But those who set their gaze deeply into the perfecting law of liberty are fascinated by and respond to the truth they hear and are strengthened by it—they experience God’s blessing in all that they do! ²⁶ If someone believes they have a relationship with God but fails to guard his words then his heart is drifting away and his religion is shallow and empty. ²⁷ True spirituality that is pure in the eyes of our Father God is to make a difference in the lives of the orphans, and widows in their troubles, and to refuse to be corrupted by the world’s values.

This year, many situations will arise that will look like smokescreens or enemy attack, but will in fact be mirrors held up to our faces by the Lord, to allow us to see what He sees.  It will be painful and confronting, but it is His grace and mercy shown to us to perfect us and make us into the spotless bride Jesus suffered for.  Our holiness, our Christlikeness and our purity are of utmost importance.  Now, more than ever we need to embrace the Word as a mirror so that we can discern God’s perfect will for us…to be like His Son.  We need to appreciate our fellowship and unity with other believers, as often they are the instruments (mirrors) used by the Lord to inform us, to guide and encourage us and to sharpen us as iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17).  We need to remind ourselves of who we are, as many of us have lost their true identity. We need mirrors so that we can see and remember who we are and what we’ve been called for. It’s time to shake off the dust and to advance!

May the Lord bless us, and keep us.  May the Lord make His face to shine on us and may He be gracious to us.  May the Lord turn His face to us, and give us peace.

And so the Living Expression became a man and lived among us! And we gazed upon the splendour of his glory, the glory of the One and Only who came from the Father overflowing with tender mercy and truth!
John 1:14 TPT

The novel The Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens begin with the words “ It was the best of times and the worst of times”.  It seems to be a phrase that pretty much sums up my 2020.  

Like everyone else, for me  2020 kicked off with great excitement.  I heard all the prophetic words spoken about the year.  It was going to be the year of “perfect, 20/20 vision”.  It turned out to be true…just not in the way I expected it to be.  This has been a strange year and I suspect this is going to be this generation’s version of “back in 2020, when people fought over toilet paper in supermarket isles, we had to stay home…”

Like many, many others I suffered loss this year.  Loved ones passes away and I attended funerals via Skype.  Milestone birthdays came and went uncelebrated.  Old friends were lost, dreams died and life as I knew it changed forever.  Who would have thought that a day would come where we couldn’t go to church, to the shop or to visit where and when we wanted to?  Travel ground to a halt as borders were shut and airlines went bust.  

Out of necessity my husband started a business and suddenly I went from being a housewife, with hours and hours to study the Word, write a book and soak in the Lord’s presence to being crazy busy, often leaving home at the crack of dawn only to return 12 hours later, too tired to speak.  I learned new skills and discovered muscles I forgot I had and I now have what’s known in this neck of the woods as a “tradie tan”…the very tanned arms tradesmen sport from spending time working outdoors, while the rest of the body is lily white, distinguishing it from someone who spends time at the beach.

But reflecting on 2020, it seems to me that they year indeed brought enlightenment.  The events that unfolded this year has been the catalyst to expose much of the heart of man.  It became clear what had been concealed for so long.  Many Christians fell away, having been given an “out”.  People started to show their true colours.  The deep fears of hearts became apparent from conversations and from social media posts.  Those who put their trust in governments and systems felt let down and angry.  House after house of cards fell.  

As my life had changed dramatically, I had to find a new way of being.  Suddenly I felt guilty for not spending enough time with the Lord, not reading enough, not studying enough, not praying enough.  When a Christian sister rebuked me for not coming to the Wednesday night prayer meetings at church because we were keeping odd hours, often returning home very late, by saying I should be putting the Lord first, I started to question my priorities.  

It was then I was reminded that I was called to be salt and light.  Jesus became a man, dwelt with us and showed us how.  I began to understand Emmanuel, God with us, God with me, in a way I hadn’t before.  I don’t have to put aside time to be with Him, He is always with me.  Where I go, Jesus goes.  Where I turn up, Holy Spirit turns up.  I go into people’s homes and atmospheres change because of our presence there.  I may not turn up to prayer meetings but I pray for people, usually without words.  My husband and I have the privilege of going into people’s homes and bringing Light with us.  Daily I get to produce more and more fruit of the spirit and often times I get confronted with the deeply hidden darkness that resides in the hearts of men, mine included. It’s then I am remember again and again how much this world needs Jesus…how much I need Jesus.

As we celebrate the birth of Jesus, let’s remember Emmanuel, God with us.  Let’s not get sidetracked by whether it’s a pagan feast or not, whether it’s right or wrong to celebrate Christmas, whether it’s the right or the wrong date.  You do what your conscience dictate but however you choose to spend Christmas remember Jesus, who dwells with us, and in us.    In the midst of chaos, when nothing is as it was one thing remains…Jesus, Steadfast and True, Victorious, our Living Hope.  May love, peace and joy be your portion this Christmas and remain yours forever more.  

In our culture, we associate vulnerability with emotions we want to avoid, such as fear, shame and uncertainty.  Yet, we too often loose sight of the fact that vulnerability is also the birthplace of joy, belonging, creativity, authenticity, and love.                              Brenè Brown        

                                                                                               

I woke up from a dream on Sunday morning.  I was walking through a vast building with a large, empty foyer and a very high ceiling.  The room was white, with blue trim and I immediately associated it with Greece.  Why Greece? Because in ancient times Greece represented the seat of learning, the intellect, philosophy and about 2,500 years ago, Greece was one of the most important places in the ancient world. The Greeks were great thinkers, warriors, writers, actors, athletes, artists, architects and politicians.  They were also very well-known for their idolatry and the worship of various false gods.  I believe the Lord used this imagery to press on my heart that no part of our being is exempt.  He was addressing the state of man, body soul and spirit.

I walked to the left, which represents the natural, looked out the window and saw two pools. The number two can represent many things, but during worship that morning, the Lord showed me it represented double mindedness.  I walked to the right, which represent the spiritual, and again I looked out the window and saw two pools.  On the right side of the building I also saw booths with small round pools.  These I knew were for the children to learn to swim.

As we entered into deep worship Holy Spirit illuminated more of the dream and it’s meaning.  It suddenly came to me that many women don’t like swimming because they don’t want to spoil their hair or their makeup.  As the Bride of Christ, many believers are like the women who don’t like to get wet.  There is often a resistance to the flow of Holy Spirit because He is misunderstood or they have doctrinal issues around the manifest presence of God…but more often than not, it’s fear, guilt and shame that keeps the body from jumping in.  The people of God are afraid of being exposed and the Lord is bringing a season of illumination of every form of darkness.  We seem to forget that Jesus paid the price of the cross for a Bride and Holy Spirit’s role is to help prepare the Bride.   

I heard the Lord say that He is going to wash off the makeup…all those things we apply to our face to hide our true selves from Him, from others and from ourselves.  The Word teaches us that our hearts are deceitful and that we cannot grasp what is in our own hearts.  Too large a part of His body is living in denial about the true state of their lives.

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?  Jeremiah 17:9 ESV

But the Lord knows all, sees all and we cannot hide any wicked thing from Him.  The apostle Paul warns the church in Ephesus with these words: “What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretence.  Tell your neighbour the truth.  In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all.  When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.” (Eph. 4:25 MSG)

Have you ever thought about the “Me Too” movement and why it gained so much traction, so quickly?  I believe it’s because one person’s courage becomes license for others to be brave too.

The enemy wants us to walk in shame, more than anything else, because our shame will cause us to do the same as Adam and Eve did…hide from a loving Father who wants nothing more than be in relationship with us. 

Let me talk a little bit about the difference between guilt and shame.  Guilt is a legal issue, decided by a judge and punishment is dished out in accordance to the law.  As a Christian our guilt was dealt with once and for all.  The penalty was paid for by Jesus and our legal status is “not guilty”.  Shame on the other hand is a toxic emotion that will keep us in bondage to addictions, to fear of punishment and to many other emotional and mental issues.  As long as we feel shame, we will never really feel like we belong, that we matter, that we are loved or that we have anything to offer.  Shame will cause us to hide from the Lord, to shun His people and to lie to ourselves and others.  It will cause us to find fault everywhere and with everyone.

Yet, Jesus carried our shame to the cross and there is freedom from it, once and for all. When the Lord says He is going to remove the makeup from our faces, He is not threatening to expose and shame us, or to humble us in front of people.  What He is offering us is a new freedom…the freedom to be authentically who we are, the freedom from the fear of being exposed or “caught out”.  He wants us to be free to enjoy Him and each other.  He wants us to be free to frolic in the water, like children.  He wants us to experience joy in His presence and to be creative in our expression of worship, to be generous with our stories of pain and our stories of victory over that pain.

Let me go back to the dream for a moment.  Why two pools?  Because a decision has to be made…we have to choose.  When I meditated on it during worship, the Lord pressed Joel 3:14 on my heart.

Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision (judgment)!
For the day of the Lord is near in the valley of decision [when judgment is executed]. (AMP)

So, whether we have to make decisions regarding the natural or the spiritual, we have to heed how we choose and how we walk.  As we are living in what is called “unprecedented times”, let us not get distracted from the main thing…that we are called to love the Lord above all else, and to love our neighbor like ourselves.  Therefor, let us submit ourselves under the hand of Almighty God, to the washing of the Word, and the healing touch of Jesus, so that we walk without shame, knowing that our guilt was washed away and that we are indeed a new creation.  Selah.

Let me be clear, the Anointed One has set us free—not partially, but completely and wonderfully free! We must always cherish this truth and stubbornly refuse to go back into the bondage of our past.

 Beloved ones, God has called us to live a life of freedom in the Holy Spirit. But don’t view this wonderful freedom as an opportunity to set up a base of operations in the natural realm. Freedom means that we become so completely free of self-indulgence that we become servants of one another, expressing love in all we do.

Galatians 5:1 and 13 TPT

I HAVE CALLED YOU BY YOUR NAME AND YOU ARE MINE

Isaiah 43:1

How often are we identified by our profession, or by a spouse’s name or profession, or by our children’s name, our family’s name or in some instances, by the notoriety of another person or even people group.  I have been Fred’s wife, Richard or Phillippe’s mum, so-and-so’s daughter or daughter-in-law.  I have been the teacher, the pastor, the employee.  I have been introduced just as my wife, my mum, my daughter, my friend and sister – I have born many titles and sometimes without my name ever having been mentioned.  Assumptions have been made about me based on my gender and my ethnicity, as if all women or all South Africans or all New Zealanders or all Aussies think and act exactly the same.  I have been expected to conform to the ways of my family, even though I have always been and will always be a little bit outside that box. 

I guess, where it comes to being part of the Church, in many respects, I have come to think of myself in those terms too…part of the collective.  I am one of the sons of God, I am part of the Bride of Christ, I am Christian sister, I am just a part of the body. I have come to appreciate that I am one of many and that I am not that special.  The Lord cares for all His children and He is not a respecter of persons.  What He will do for one, He will do for another. This is good and right in every way.  The Word tells us that if one part of the body suffers, we all suffer (1 Cor. 12:26).

Psalm 23, verse 5 reads “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You have anointed and refreshed my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (Amp)

Many times, as I have meditated on this psalm, I would imagine this table.  It would always be this long, wooden table, set with beautiful cutlery and crockery, absolutely laden with food.  I would see fruit and vegetables, steaming bowls with delicious dishes, roasts and whole fish baked with their heads on, and pitchers with delicious drinks waiting to be savoured.  As you can tell, I have a vivid imagination and I love to watch period films, which probably informed my imagination.  On this long, communal table there would be something to satisfy every possible taste, because we are all loved after all. 

Then I had a dream in which I was the bride at a wedding.  As I walked across a beautifully manicured lawn, around a peaceful lake I noticed the wedding guests sitting around the lake, totally relaxed.  I was walking towards the tent where a beautiful buffet was laid out and as I was walking towards it, I was conversing with my angel.  I said “this is nothing like the wedding I had planned, but it is so much better”.  I could see the elegant, formal wedding I had planned in my mind’s eye but my bridegroom gave me the wedding that I needed, not what I thought I wanted.  As I walked up to the tables, I noticed it was laden with treats and desserts.  There was everything I could imagine to satisfy my sweet tooth.  Only someone who knew everything about me would know that I am easily won over with a sweet treat and that I rate the quality of a meal by the dessert.

As I passed some guests, I noticed a dessert that I am particularly fond of on their plates.  I missed it the first time round!  I went back to get it and to my astonishment found that everything had been replaced by desserts even more delectable than before.  The miracle at the wedding comes to mind…the best was served last.

This dream was such a comfort to me and still brings a smile to my face as it is a reminder that there’s a place with Jesus where I am just Nicky, His beloved.  In this place there’s no expectation that I be anything other than loved.  There’s a communal table where we all eat, but there is also a table where Jesus serves me everything that will bless my heart. That buffet of dessert was not about feeding me, or keeping my fueled and healthy.  That table was all about making me happy, showing me that I am know and loved for who I am and that I have a Bridegroom who desires to show me His love in a language that I would understand.   At this table there is no judgment about my poor choices or my lack of discipline. Yes, Jesus calls us to serve as He served but there is also a place where He want to serve us…He wants to serve us with the things that reminds us we are known, loved and accepted regardless of what we believe about ourselves.  Jesus wants us to know that we have each been called by our own name, not as the collective “we” or “you” but as individuals. 

How marvelous to comprehend that the One who holds all things together knows little old me.  And not only that, but that He cares about me and that the things I care about matter to Him.  Song of Solomon 6:3 in the Passion Translation reads:  He is within me—I am his garden of delight.  I have him fully and now he fully has me!

For many of us 2020 hasn’t turned out at all as we had hoped in January but take courage because Jesus is still King and you, beloved, hold this King’s heart.

Verb: to prepare or prepare and use for the raising of crops, to loosen or break up the soil about (growing plants), to foster the growth of, to improve by labor, care, or study, to refine, to encourage

Spring has sprung in the Southern Hemisphere and as such it was time to sow some seeds for my crop of nasturtiums.  I call it a crop, because I grow nasturtiums for the edible flowers they produce.  Living in what is practically a desert, my philosophy is not to waste precious water on any plant, unless it’s useful in some way.

But as any gardener knows, there is always a lot of preparation needed before you even get to put seed in the ground.  Weeding and feeding, turning the soil and preparing the seed bed takes time and effort, but omitting these crucial steps leads to disappointment down the track.

Which brings me to the sad little “flower bed” I share with my neighbour. It’s little more than a bare patch, covered with bark but it yields an enormous amount of weeds.  I often find myself either weeding or applying poison to the weeds, hoping to get on top of the problem.  When I am tending to that patch, I go to the trouble to not only weed my half of the bed, but I apply weed killer or elbow grease to all the weeds.  I would like to think it’s because I am a good neighbour, but truth be told, it’s because I am not a great fan of weeding.  Those weeds, left untended, will soon go to seed and the wind will blow those seeds into the rest of my garden, making the whole situation worse.  

As I was tending those weeds the other day, the Lord spoke to me and the words of Cain came to mind.  The Lord knew that Cain had slaughtered his brother and He asked Cain where Abel was…not because He was after information, but because He was exposing the sin.  Cain answered “am I my brother’s keeper?” 

I was thinking about that, as I was tending my neighbour’s garden.  How often do we, as people professing Jesus as Lord, respond in like manner, even if only in our hearts?  

In my humble opinion, the Church has lost her voice and her authority because instead of cultivating the land, we have allowed the seed of weeds blown over the fence, to take root.  Instead of impacting the world, and setting the standard for integrity and holiness, instead of being the moral compass for our neighbourhoods, cities and nations, we have become polluted and in many cases, overtaken by the world.

Are we not our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers?  Does the Word not teach us that we are a body and that the suffering of one member is the suffering of all?  How did it happen that we, like the world at large, became a people that only look out for #1.  Me, myself and I is king.  We sing and speak about Jesus as being Lord, but do we actually live our lives as a testimony to that?  Jesus Himself said that you will be great only when you learn to be humble, yet Christians are going around tooting their horns more than ever.  How did we come to to this?

1 Corinthians 12: 25  to 27 reads:  “so that there would be no division or discord in the body [that is, lack of adaptation of the parts to each other], but that the parts may have the same concern for one another. And if one member suffers, all the parts share the suffering; if one member is honored, all rejoice with it. Now you [collectively] are Christ’s body, and individually [you are] members of it [each with his own special purpose and function].” Amplified

Jesus identified Himself with us, to the point of dying on the cross and as members of His body, we are to identify with each other.  The apostle Paul admonished the Corinthians with these words:  “Brothers and sisters, when I was with you I found it impossible to speak to you as those who are spiritually mature people, for you are still dominated by the mind-set of the flesh. And because you are immature infants in Christ,  I had to nurse you and feed you with “milk,” not with the solid food of more advanced teachings, because you weren’t ready for it. In fact, you are still not ready to be fed solid food, for you are living your lives dominated by the mind-set of the flesh. Ask yourselves: Is there jealousy among you? Do you compare yourselves with others? Do you quarrel like children and end up taking sides? If so, this proves that you are living your lives centered on yourselves, dominated by the mind-set of the flesh, and behaving like unbelievers. For when you divide yourselves up in groups—a “Paul group” and an “Apollos group” – you’re acting like people without the Spirit’s influence.” (1 Corinthians 3:1 – 4TPT)

If we are honest with ourselves, aren’t we doing the same?  May the Lord have mercy on us and give us the grace we need to grow up and to do it quickly.  I long for the day when our character is more valued than our anointing, integrity is more important than a platform and Christlikeness is our highest pursuit.  Until then, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith, Who, for the joy set before Him, endured the cross.  Now, let’s pick up our own cross and follow Him as we allow Him to be our Lord, as well as our Saviour and Deliverer.  Let us cultivate the soil of our hearts, allowing Holy Spirit to weed and fertilise, to prune and water as He sees fit so that we will bear the fruit of our salvation.

Mothers and Fathers Part Two 

Train up a child in the way he should go [teaching him to seek God’s wisdom and will for his abilities and talents], Even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 amp

Easter Sunday, 2019, Amanda and I found ourselves sitting on a rickety bench, outside a ramshackle church, listening to snippets of a sermon.  I caught as much of the preaching as my limited command of Bislama allowed.    We were hot and sticky from doing our laundry by hand and the bench felt a little less comfortable by the minute.  We were in the Solomon Islands, in a little village nobody’s probably heard of, and only those who had the pleasure of manual labour in the tropics would  appreciate the level of discomfort our systems, used to air conditioning and icy drinks, were suffering.

As my friend Sereili was preaching, I was having a moment of (spiritual) motherly pride.  I was in awe of the power and passion with which she was preaching as I reminisced about our first meeting.  The shy and quiet girl developed into a formidable woman of God, able to hold her own in any circumstance.

I heard her invite aunty Esther up to share a testimony.  Aunty Esther was our hostess…a lovely, much older lady who was usually dripping with sweat and smelling of wood smoke from slaving over an open fire all day to feed and care for us.  For two weeks aunty Esther slept on a mat in a store room as we were given the honour of sleeping in her bedrooms.  What a woman of God!

It was when I heard her say “in 1977” that my heart dropped.  I whispered to Amanda to get comfortable, for I expected we were going to be on the bench for a long time yet.  I caught very little of the testimony as Solomon’s Bislama is a little different to the Vanuatu version I am more familiar with.  The roar and applause of the people didn’t help either.  They were so excited and we had no idea why.

Later that evening, after they day’s sessions were done and dusted and we settled in for our customary recap of the day, we learned what the ruckus was about.  As it turned out, in 1977 two Australian men came to the village to preach and teach for a few days.  Aunty Esther was a teenager at the time and it was the story of what transpired in those days that had everyone so excited.  As these men preached and taught, a revival broke out in the village and many people, also from surrounding villages came to the Lord.

The church had organised themselves in ministry teams.  There was the evangelists, who would go around the area and tell people about Jesus, there was the healing team who would see to the physical needs.  Once people accepted Jesus, they were referred to the deliverance team and from there the discipling would start until they were ready to join a ministry team.

We were blown away.  One evening, as Aunty Esther played her weathered ukulele, singing the old revival songs which still carried the fire of God I asked her one of the smartest questions I have ever asked of anyone.  I wanted to know how the revival died.  How did they get from that place to where we found them…a church with no power.

The answer was so simple, yet so profound.  Aunty Esther said that the old people refused to teach the young people how to do the work.  The children were ministered to, but never taught how to do it themselves.  When the old people died, she said, the revival died with them.  What a terrible, terrible shame.  What a loss.

It got me wondering how much of what the Lord is depositing in us is going to die with us when our time comes.  What holds us back from passing on what the Lord is teaching us?  For some, I believe, it’s insecurity.  When you don’t believe that you have anything of value to impart the body misses out on the benefit of your unique gifts, talents and anointing.  For other I believe it’s fear.  The “what if” is so much louder than the “what if I don’t”.  Nobody likes to be in the receiving end of rejection but I have learned from much experience that rejection is not fatal.  Giving up is though.

The last group would be those who are protective of their platform, of their “territory”.  It’s only when we give up on the notion of “my” ministry, “my” gift, “my” whatever and recognise that we are all but small parts of a large body and Christ is the head.  We are to be about our Father’s business, not building our own platforms, extending His kingdom, not ours.

I believe during this trying season, the Lord is doing some deep work in many people.  He is depositing wisdom and revelation in us as He is preparing His church for the coming harvest.  He is exposing everything in us that will cause us to abort what He is wanting to birth.  Let us have a posture of “I do me, and you do you”.  Allow the fire of affliction to purify you and leave the rest to  the Lord.  Jesus is more than able to prepare His bride.  There is purpose to what God is doing…it is so that we will be ready for our Bridegroom’s return and so that we are prepared and equipped to help others get ready.

***

“Behold, I am going to send My messenger, and he will prepare and clear the way before Me. And the Lord [the Messiah], whom you seek, will suddenly come to His temple; the Messenger of the covenant, in whom you delight, behold, He is coming,” says the Lord of hosts.  But who can endure the day of His coming? And who can stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner’s fire and like launderer’s soap [which removes impurities and uncleanness].  He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver, and He will purify the sons of Levi [the priests], and refine them like gold and silver, so that they may present to the Lord [grain] offerings in righteousness. Then the offering of Judah and Jerusalem will be pleasing to the Lord as in the days of old and as in ancient years.                                Malachi 3: 1-4 AMP

For although you could have countless babysitters in Christ telling you what you’re doing wrong, you don’t have many fathers who correct you in love. But I’m a true father to you, for I became your father when I gave you the gospel and brought you into union with Jesus, the Anointed One. So I encourage you, my children, to follow the example that I live before you. 1 Cor. 4:15, 16 TPT

For even if you were to have ten thousand teachers [to guide you] in Christ, yet you would not have many fathers [who led you to Christ and assumed responsibility for you], for I became your father in Christ Jesus through the good news [of salvation]. So I urge you, be imitators of me [just as a child imitates his father].  1 Cor. 4:15, 16 AMP

A couple of weeks ago I woke up with a sudden and uncharacteristic homesickness for New Zealand…uncharacteristic because I don’t often feel homesick for anyone or any place.  When you travel as much as I do, meeting lovely people everywhere and having to say goodbyes more often than you care to, you learn to love where you are at, to make the most of time with people and to let go when you have to move on.  But on this day I longed to just sit with a very precious and deeply appreciated spiritual mother who lives there and I recalled many profound conversations we had.  I had hoped to see her this year, but Covid 19 clipped my wings, as it did many others’. 

As I prayerfully meditated on these emotions, Holy Spirit reminded me of the verses I quoted at the start.  He started to impress upon my heart that there are many spiritual children longing for mothers and fathers to arise and give them shelter under their wings.  Many of these ones have a longing that they cannot even express in words, they hold their breath, but they cannot articulate what they are waiting for.  

There is an old saying that when the student is ready, the master will come.  I believe the same is true right now.  The “children” are ready, they are waiting for the mothers and fathers to be revealed.  If we are honest, we have to admit that so much of what is wrong in the world can be attributed to the fatherlessness of the generation we live in.  I believe that much of what is wrong in the church today can also be attributed to the lack of true spiritual mothers and fathers.  

In the first seven verses of chapter 2 of his letter to Titus, an early missionary and Church leader,  Paul says: “Your duty is to teach them to embrace a lifestyle that is consistent with sound doctrine. Lead the male elders into disciplined lives full of dignity and self-control. Urge them to have a solid faith, generous love, and patient endurance.

Likewise with the female elders, lead them into lives free from gossip and drunkenness and to be teachers of beautiful things. This will enable them to teach the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, and to be self-controlled and pure, taking care of their household and being devoted to their husbands. By doing these things the word of God will not be discredited. Likewise, guide the younger men into living disciplined lives for Christ.  Above all, set yourself apart as a model of a life nobly lived. With dignity, demonstrate integrity in all that you teach. (TPT)

Paul is urging Titus to teach the older men and women how to walk in integrity, consistent with sound doctrine, so that they are are able to become spiritual parents to the younger men and women, so that subsequent generations will grow up and walk in the fear of the Lord.  Most importantly, he tells Titus to be sure that he models, not teach, noble living.  

What can we take away from this?  If you are in any position of leadership make sure you demonstrate integrity in all that you teach, and in all that you are.  Be dignified in all you that do and remember that you are called to model Christlikeness.  It’s not so much about what you do, or even that you are doing what you are doing…it’s about HOW you do what you do.

For the elders it is necessary to look around for those you can parent in the faith.  I count myself into this category as much as into the first.  We need to be intentionally looking for those younger in the faith to impart wisdom to.

For the younger ones it is imperative to pray for the right connections.  Spiritual mothers and fathers will reproduce after their own kind, therefor it is crucial to look for the fruit that sets them apart as good models.  If you see any fruit in their lives that you don’t want to see in yours, stay clear and of course, the opposite is also true.  If you see something that you like, be bold and ask if you can hang around them a little.

What happens if we get this right?  Remember what Paul wrote to the Ephesians?  In chapter 4, verses 1 to 6 he says:

As a prisoner of the Lord, I plead with you to walk holy, in a way that is suitable to your high rank, given to you in your divine calling. With tender humility and quiet patience, always demonstrate gentleness and generous love toward one another, especially toward those who may try your patience. Be faithful to guard the sweet harmony of the Holy Spirit among you in the bonds of peace, being one body and one spirit, as you were all called into the same glorious hope of divine destiny.  For the Lord God is one, and so are we, for we share in one faith, one baptism, and one Father. And He is the perfect Father who leads us all, works through us all, and lives in us all!

When we get this right, when we teach one another and hold ourselves and each other to a higher standard, we all come into our divine destiny…to be one as Abba Father, Jesus and Holy Spirit is one…the glorious, spotless Bride.

Huddy is two.  A very typical two year old, he gets into everything and he is a sponge soaking up every word and action of the adults around him.  He is a bundle of laughs most of the time, but as a healthy and inquisitive boy, he gets himself into trouble too.  Our little man loves to explore the boundaries, something that he is supposed to do.  He tests the strength of the shelves on the book case as much as he tests my patience by drawing on the furniture with a wax crayon.  Both things are healthy and if he did not do these things, we would be worried.  Two years olds are suppose to be adventurous and they are suppose to say “mine” and “no” a lot.  He is learning autonomy and how to use free will.  Often he will say no to something he really want to say yes to, just because that is what two year olds do.

Often times the consequence of his  actions brings him pain.  Bumps and scrapes and especially stubbed toes are the norm right about now, as it is with most toddlers.  It is as it is supposed to be.  The sometimes painful consequence of his actions is not punishment, but opportunity for growth and learning.  The hardest part of being ouma (Afrikaans word for grandmother) is to allow him the luxury of learning by experience.  I want to protect him from harm as best I can.

Something that he does that causes my heart to skip a beat more often than not, is his tendency to run off when we are outside.  He considers it great fun having me run after him, yelling “stop!”.  Instead of stopping, he goes as fast as his little legs can carry him, oblivious to danger.  Our job is to keep him safe until such a time as he is mature enough to recognise danger for himself, without breaking his adventurous spirit in the process.

Because I understand the psyche of a two year old, I have come up with another strategy that I am going to put into practice when we are out and about.  Instead of yelling for him to stop, we are turning it into a game.  Ouma yells “freeze” and no-one is allowed to move until I say so.  It probably won’t work every time, but I am upping the ante with a few little prizes.  You freeze every time, you get to pick from a small selection of toys.  It’s going to be a work in progress.

It reminds me of the Father.  How often do we read the Word and see a scripture that seems just too restrictive?  How often do we hear Holy Spirit say “freeze” but we ignore the command and pay the price?  Often time we want to be delivered from the enemy, when the enemy has nothing to do with it.  Our pain is caused by the consequence of our actions.  We engage our free will, which is good and right.  It’s a God-given blessing to have a choice, but until we are mature enough to make healthy and safe choices for ourselves, we need the boundaries that the Lord sets for us.  The more we mature to walk in obedience, the less restrictive those boundaries will seem.  Instead we begin to realise that every “no”, “ not now” or “ take care” from the Father is an act of immense love.  He wants to protect us from dangers that He can see, even when we resent what we see as an infringement upon our free will.  His intention is not to break our spirit, but to lead us into a deeper walk, into maturity and into a place where we walk in wisdom, lead by Holy Spirit, by choice.

Sadly though, often times as the children of God, we react like two year olds.  We say no when we know we should be saying yes, and vice versa, or we see something in the distance and we run after it headlong when Abba wants us to wait for Him.  Skinned knees and stubbed toes often result, as does egg on our faces.  We resent the Lord’s discipline and we regard the consequence of our action as punishment, rather than thank Him for the opportunity to learn and to grow in grace.

I once heard it said that a smart person learns from his own mistakes, but a wise person learns from other people’s mistakes.  Yet we tend to think that we will be the exception to the rule…we will get away with the thing that caused so many others to fall.  In this season, as in every other season, we need to grow up and earnestly seek after wisdom.  We are walking a road we have not traveled before.  We need to heed the voice of the Lord, saying “freeze” or “this is the way, walk in it” (Is. 30:21).  When Holy Spirit says freeze, it’s to keep us safe, but also to give us an opportunity to comply.  We get to choose to do the right thing, we get to choose obedience rather than defying Him and with making the right choice, we get a reward.

The other day, Oupa (you guessed it, Afrikaans for grandpa) asked Huddy what his name was.  His answer?  Good boy!  Because that’s what he hears every time he chooses obedience.  That’s what we are striving for, isn’t it.  To hear Abba Father say “You have done well, and proven yourself to be my loyal and trustworthy servant. Because you were faithful to manage a small sum, now I will put you in charge of much, much more. You will experience the delight of your master, who will say to you, “Come celebrate with me!”  (Matt. 25:23 TPT), just as the wealthy man said to his faithful servant in the parable.

Our obedience is an act of worship.  It is ascribing the highest honour to One Who is worthy to receive it.  So whether Abba is asking you to do something or whether He is asking you to stop and wait, heed Him.  There is a great reward waiting for those that overcome…especially when we overcome our natural inclination for rebellion.

It is said of Jesus, in the book of Hebrews…”But even though He was a wonderful Son, He learned to listen and obey through all His sufferings.  And after being proven perfect in this way He has now become the source of eternal salvation to all those who listen to Him and obey.” (Heb. 5: 8,9) 

Jesus goes on to say: 

“What good does it do for you to say I am your Lord and Master if what I teach you is not put into practice? Let me describe the one who truly follows me and does what I say. He is like a man who chooses the right place to build a house and then lays a deep and secure foundation. When the storms and floods rage against that house, it continues to stand strong and unshaken through the tempest, for it has been wisely built on the right foundation.    Luke 6:46-48 (TPT)

Let’s encourage one another in this season of uncertainty, where storms rage in us and around us, to choose obedience above all.  Let Jesus be Lord and Master, as well as Saviour and Friend.  Selah.